Week 7

We've made it to week 7! So kick back, and let's take a look at this week's Blitz of Apathy fantasy football results.

  
  

Ministry of Silly Walks vs. Brandonia Dr0idz

FINAL SCORE: 103 - 119

WINNER: Brandonia Dr0idz

Star Players:
CIN  RB Jeremy Hill (DRDZ): 24 points from 168 yards rushing in only 9 attempts
NE   RB LeGarrette Blount (DRDZ): 24 points from 127 yards rushing and 2 TDs
BUF QB Tyrod Taylor (MoSW): 23 points including a 2 point conversion and 221 yards in the air
CIN  WR A.J. Green (MoSW): 22 points from 8 catches and 0 drops for 169 yards
  
Underachievers:
NE  K Stephen Gostkowski (MoSW): 3 points... also he missed an extra point
  
    
The two highest scores of the week came out in this one matchup. Coach Brandon pulled off his season high score just in time to fend off an impressive week from the Ministry of Silly Walks.

Brandonia Dr0idz still boasts a team of players located north of the Mason-Dixon

Coach Kristin ended up with some regular old bad luck to be matched up with the Dr0idz this week. Against any other opponent she would have won.

pictured above: bad luck

  
     
  

Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy vs. Team Pup 'n Suds

FINAL SCORE: 94 - 84

WINNER: Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy

  

Star Players:
NO QB Drew Brees (FoF): 24 points from 3 TDs- this QB has been on fire recently!
TB WR Mike Evans (FoF): 21 points from 8 catches (despite dropping 5)
KC RB Spencer Ware (PUPR): 18 points in Kansas City's win over New Orleans
  
Underachievers:
NE   TE Martellus Bennett (FoF): 0 points. He caught the ball once for 5 yards.
CLE WR Terrelle Pryor (PUPR): 1 point
CHI RB Jordan Howard (PUPR): 2 points
  
  
Coach Patrick has been consistently good week after week and he keeps his hold on first place in the league with his win against coach Andre this week.

Coach Patrick is casually baller

Team Pup 'n Suds had a few let downs this week including Odell Beckham Jr. who had another mediocre game. You need those superstars to perform consistently in order to win games and some of coach Andre's players have been boom or bust.

Slippery fingers is no excuse in the NFL

  
  

Team Tight Endz vs. Space Cowboys

FINAL SCORE: 84 - 82

WINNER: Team Tight Endz

  

Star Players:
SD RB Melvin Gordon (S.Co): 29 points by running in 2 TDs and catching a pass for 1 more
BAL Defense/Special Teams (BUTT): 17 points from a defensive touchdown, 5 sacks and a block
  
Underachievers:
JAX WR Allen Robinson (BUTT): 0 points :( he dropped 6 passes
BAL RB Terrance West (S.Co): 1 point from 8 rushes


What can we say about the Space Cowboys? Once again coach Brandon was up by 14 points coming into Monday night. Once again he lost a close game thanks to Monday night football.

If there is a god of Monday night- coach Brandon needs to pray to it

Coach Anna needs to thank her kicker and her D/ST for the win this week. Getting 14 points from Justin Tucker and 17 from the Ravens defense made up for a lackluster performance from her flex players.

Penn State knows what it's like to have a good kicker too

  
  

Commissioner Goodell vs. Team Vogel

FINAL SCORE: 97 - 62

WINNER: Commissioner Goodell

  

Star Players:
CIN QB Andy Dalton (GOOD): 20 points against Cleveland
IND WR T.Y. Hilton (VOGE): 19 points despite dropping 5 passes
  
Underachievers:
DAL RB Ezekiel Elliott (VOGE): BYE WEEK. DIDN'T PLAY.
GV WR Jordy Nelson (GOOD): 0 points because he dropped 3 passes
  
  
Coach Jenny had another week with a missed opportunity since RB Ezekiel Elliott was feeling lazy and decided to take his bye week instead of playing.

I'm certain that professional football players are very lazy on their week off...

Coach Skyler decided he didn't want to play the Cardinals QB this week when they were against the Seahawks. Instead, he took the strategy of signing whatever QB was playing against the Browns this week. It worked pretty well.


    

The Browns: a good strategy for picking defenses and QBs

  
  
  
 --- Coming up next week ---

Bye Weeks:

Week 8 and week 9 are the most popular bye weeks with teams- so be careful!

Baltimore

Los Angeles

Miami

New York Giants

Pittsburgh

San Francisco

  

Week 8 Matchups

Team Vogel (3-4) vs. Space Cowboys (1-6)

Team Pup'n Suds (4-3) vs. Brandonia Dr0idz (2-5)

Ministry of Silly Walks (2-5) vs. Commissioner Goodell (4-3)

Team Tight Endz (6-1) vs. Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy (6-1)  *** battle for 1st place ***

Week 6

Welcome to Week 6 of Blitz of Apathy fantasy football action! This week we have all the gifs but with 100% more stats and data. Enjoy!

  
  
  

Team Pup 'n Suds vs. Ministry of Silly Walks

FINAL SCORE: 100 - 56

WINNER: Team Pup 'n Suds

  

Star Players:
WR Odell Beckham Jr (PUPR): 32 points from 8 catches for 222 yards and 2 TDs
QB Tom Brady (PUPR): 27 points from throwing for 376 yards over Cincinnati
RB Jonathan Steward (MoSW): 20 points from 2 TDs and 85 yards rushing

Underachievers:
RB Matt Forte (PUPR): 1 point from 9 rushes
WR Michael Crabtree (MoSW): 1 point from 2 receptions
D/ST Panthers D/ST (MoSw): -6 points in the 38 - 41 loss against the Saints

The Ministry of Silly Walks never could get momentum going with Big Ben getting injured in the first half of the game against Miami and the Panthers Defense dragging Coach Kristin down.

Stop flossing and start winning games Carolina!

Pup 'n Suds cruised to another win as Tom Brady is looking like his usual self and Coach Andre finally got help from Odell Beckham Jr for the first time this season.

B is for better, Mr. Beckham

  
  

Team Vogel vs. Team Tight Endz

FINAL SCORE: 79 - 97

WINNER: Team Tight Endz

  

Star Players:
RB Lamar Miller (VOGE): 28 points from 24 rushing attempts
RB LeSean McCoy (BUTT): 32 points via 3 TDs

Underachievers:
TE Antonia Gates (VOGE): 1 point; injured during the game
TE Dennis Pitta (BUTT): 3 points despite being thrown at 10 times

This matchup gets the PALINDROMIC SCORE OF THE WEEK award!

tacocat

In this game, creatively named Team Vogel had trouble getting points from her wide receivers and tight end, but everything else was working well. Tough matchups might have made the difference, things may just bounce back next week for Coach Jenny.

Patience is a virtue

Team Tight Endz did slightly better than Team Vogel in every category, but this is another consecutive week where Coach Rish's lowest scoring player was her tight end.

Where is Jake Butt when you need him?

  

  

  

Space Cowboys vs. Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy

FINAL SCORE: 90 - 95

WINNER: Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy

  

Star Players:

TE Rob Gronkowski (S.Co): 22 points from 1 TD and 162 yards (also thanks to Tom Brady)

QB Drew Brees (FoF): 32 points from throwing 465 yards and 4 TDs against Carolina

Underachievers:

WR Tyler Lockett (S.Co): 2 points from 3 receptions and 1 rushing attempt

WR Julian Edelman (S.Co): 3 points from 7 passes sent his direction and 1 rushing attempt

Coach Brandon probably deserves some sort of award for the most times being in the lead Monday morning only to lose a close game Monday night. This game was the most recent of several.

That sucks

Fantasyland continues their winning streak. Coach Patrick and Coach Anna are firmly in the lead of the league with only a single loss each. Drew Brees has been amazing for the Fits of Fantasy and there are basically zero underperformers on the entire team.   

  

 " 'I'm number 1!' - Luigi " - Patrick

Commissioner Goodell vs Brandonia Dr0idz

FINAL SCORE: 110 - 61

WINNER: Commissioner Goodell

  

Star Players:

RB David Johnson (GOOD): 31 points from 111 yards rushing and 3 TDs plus 3 receptions

WR Brandin Cooks (GOOD): 23 points from 173 yards and a TD

K Adam Vinatieri (DRDZ): 12 points from 6 kicks including 1 long one

Underachievers:

WR Doug Baldwin (DRDZ): 3 points even though he only dropped a single pass

D/ST Jets D/ST (DRDZ): -2 points in their 23-3 loss against Arizona

The Brandonia Dr0dz had a rough week thanks to a handful of lackluster performances, including Aaron Rodgers who has had a very rough couple of weeks. Coach Brandon may need to make some trades on the waiver wire to buff up his WRs and RBs.

Time to start shopping for some new star players

Coach Skyler will have some difficult decisions to make next week as three of his star players are on Arizona's offense and they line up against the stout Seattle defense in week 7!

I'll probably have to bench them all :(

  
  
  

 --- Coming up next week ---

Bye Weeks:

Carolina
Dallas

  

Matchups

Commissioner Goodell (3-3) vs. Team Vogel (3-3)
Team Tight Endz (5-1) vs. Space Cowboys (1-5)
Ministry of Silly Walks (2-4) vs. Brandonia Dr0idz (1-5)
Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy (5-1) vs. Team Pup 'n Suds (4-2)

Week 5

That's a wrap on another week of fantasy football! The Seahawks had their bye week to rest, but the rest of the league was at it. Let's see what happened.

  

Commissioner Goodell vs Team Pup 'n Suds

FINAL SCORE: 104 - 112

WINNER: Team Pup 'n Suds

Many of the games were very close coming into Monday night. The Carolina Panthers versus the Tampa Bay Bucs decided two of our matchups. Coach Skyler was feeling okay coming into the day with an 11 point lead and only Andre's TE and kicker remaining.

Things were still looking okay at half time when Greg Olsen only had 3 points and the Panthers' kicker Graham Gano was sitting at -1.

But then the Panthers pulled back into the game and Coach Andre ended up getting 18 points from his tight end in the second half.

Coach Andre was helped out by Tom Brady's first week back after his "deflategate" suspension. He threw for 29 points over the Browns. We will see if he can keep it up next week.
  
  
  

Ministry of Silly Walks vs Space Cowboys

FINAL SCORE: 105 - 90

WINNER: Ministry of Silly Walks

Apparently 16 points from your defense and 12 points from your kicker isn't enough to win every game, as Coach Brandon learned. The Space Cowboys were betting hard on the return of Patriot's QB Tom Brady as he put in Julian Edelman and Rob Gronkowski (two of Brady's favorite targets). But the trio just didn't connect on Sunday.

On the Ministry of Silly Walks, Ben Roethlisberger had another amazing game (and probably more high fives than Tom Brady) racking up 29 points.

above: a kitty showing Brady how it's done

  
     

Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy vs Team Vogel

FINAL SCORE: 102 - 91

WINNER: Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy

Creatively named Team Vogel had some superstars this week. Ezekiel Elliott from Dallas got 28 points, T.Y. Hilton from Indianapolis got 23 points and Devonta Freeman from Atlanta managed 17 points. However, she was really let down by Russell Wilson, who decided to be LAZY take his bye week instead of playing an extra game.

Actually though... Further investigation has revealed that the Commissioner forgot to remind Coach Jenny to replace Russell during his weekly reminder post...

So...

This shouldn't discount the good work that Coach Patrick's team did this week. He was even across the board with no real under-performers except maybe Eli Manning who had an off week. He earned the win and remains tied for first place in the league.
  
  

Team Tight Endz vs Brandonia Dr0idz

FINAL SCORE: 92 - 84

WINNER: Team Tight Endz

Speaking of teams tied for first place in the league, Team Tight Endz continues their winning streak this week with another solid victory despite an under performing TE. Get it together Team Tight Endz' tight ends!

Coach Anna pulled off the win with the help of San Diego QB Philip Rivers, Oakland WR Amari Cooper and Buffalo RB LeSean McCoy who all had a great week.

Coach Brandon had some bad luck with his main running back getting injured on Sunday and the Jets defense getting blown out with a beautifully palindromic 13 - 31 score. The brightest spot in Brandonia however is the amazing Adam Vinatieri, the kicker for Indianapolis. He booted 23 points worth of field goals against Chicago.

  

 --- Coming up next week ---

Bye Weeks:

Minnesota
Tampa Bay

  

Matchups

Brandonia Dr0idz (1-4) vs Commissioner Goodell (2-3)
Space Cowboys (1-4) vs Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy (4-1)
Team Vogel (3-2) vs Team Tight Endz (4-1)
Team Pup'n Suds (3-2) vs Ministry of Silly Walks (2-3)

Week 4

Welcome to Week 4 of fantasy football! I've noticed that as the season goes on, scores tend to go down. Star players from last season are either injured or picked on by defenders who focus on shutting them down. So, even though the scores are lower, the match ups were still very close! Let's see how everyone did.

  
  

Team Vogel vs. Ministry of Silly Walks

FINAL SCORE: 106 - 94

WINNER: Team Vogel

Coach Jenny vs coach Kristin was a battle of star players who are still performing amazingly! Russell Wilson threw 3 TDs and got 24 points for coach Jenny (even though he got -5 yards of rushing on his hurt ankle/knee) and Big Ben Roethlisberger threw 5 TDs and got 34 points for Pittsburgh. Ezekiel Elliott ran for 20 points and Michael Crabtree caught for 26 points. These are all some high flying stats!

So where was the difference? Kickers and defenses. The Ministry of Silly Walks got -1 point from kicker Stephen Gostkowski and -1 point from the Panthers' defense. Ouch.

  

  

Commissioner Goodell vs Space Cowboys

FINAL SCORE: 104 - 90

WINNER: Commissioner Goodell

The Space Cowboys ended up losing another close game that came down to the last hours on Sunday. If there was an award for closest matches, coach Brandon would certainly win it (Unfortunately there isn't a prize for that). Coach Brandon's highest scoring player was actual space cowboy Blake Bortles who led the way with 25 points in the Jaguars' first win of the season while playing in London.

above: actual footage of how Blake Bortles trains (probably)

Coach Skyler ended up winning though, almost entirely thanks to a godlike performance from Julio Jones who caught 12 passes for 300 yards and a touchdown for 36 points.

36 points!

So even though the Space Cowboys' gif was cooler, Commish Goodell managed the win in the end with 34% of thanks going solely to Julio Jones.

  
  

Brandonia Dr0idz vs Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy

FINAL SCORE: 69 - 75

WINNER: Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy

Both teams had two bright spots on their rosters and at least two gaps that left them hanging this week. Coach Brandon got 0 points from his wide receiver in San Francisco and coach Patrick got 0 points from his wide receiver in Houston. In addition, the Brandonia Dr0idz made the mistake of playing the Jets defense against the Seahawks this week. Don't bet against the Seahawks!

Coach Patrick pulled off the win thanks to a 19 point performance from his tight end. I've already made so many tight end jokes and it's only week 4.

  
  

Pup 'n Suds vs Tight Endz

FINAL SCORE: 60 - 72

WINNER: Tight Endz

Speaking of tight ends, this game's winner is Team Tight Endz. Although, team Tight Endz really does needs to find some better ones because Coby Fleener from New Orleans only made 1 point for coach Anna.

Luckily the rest of her team picked up the slack, including 11 points from Allen Robinson and 15 points from Cam Newton before he was pulled from the game for a concussion.

Team Pup 'n Suds was doing really well coming into this week, but coach Andre was again let down by some usual NFL stars. Matt Forte was held to "Matt Piano" levels with a season low 27 yards thanks to the Seahawks defense, and Odell Beckham Jr. dropped 6 passes leaving him with only 2 points.

  

Week 5

Bye Weeks:

Jacksonville

Kansas City

New Orleans

Seattle

  

Coming up next week...

Commissioner Goodell (2-2) vs Pup 'n Suds (2-2)

Ministry of Silly Walks (2-2) vs Space Cowboys (1-3)

Fantasyland Fits of Fantasy (3-1) vs Team Vogel (3-1)

Tight Endz (3-1) vs Brandonia Dr0idz (1-3)