2018 - Week 8

---- Current Standings ----

1	6-2	HL3	Gordon Freeman	Coach Nicholas
2	6-2	GOOD	The Good Commish	Coach Skyler
3	6-2	TACO	Taco Tuesdays	Coach Shane
4	5-3	CRAB	Mixon's I am not a Crab	Coach Patrick
5	5-3	RISH	Green Bay Mermen	Coach Anna
6	4-4	SUCH	Sports and Such	Coach Brandon
7	3-5	MoSW	Ministry of Silly Walks	Coach Kristin
8	3-5	Side	PNW Western WA East Siders	Coach Brandon
9	2-6	EGG	Seattle Handegg Squad	Coach Andre
10	0-8	HAM	Hamtown Hamboys	Coach TJ

Another week in Fantastic Football gives us Coach Nick at the top followed closely by coaches Skyler and Shane. Highlights: Team RISH falls three ranks from last week to take 5th, and Coach Nich rises two ranks to claim the top. Lots of blowout matchups this week, with a close bout between Team EGG and Team SUCH, and a breathtakingly close game between Team GOOD and Team TACO.

I know you're here for the gifs.

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League Wide Winners and Losers

All-Star Players

EGG	Marvin Jones Jr.	WR	Det	30.7 pts (+18.4, over projected)
HL3	James Conner	RB	Pit	38.2 pts (+15.9, over projected)
EGG	Tyler Boyd	WR	Cin	28.6 pts (+15.1, over projected)
GOOD	Mike Evans	WR	TB	29.9 pts (+14.0, over projected)
Side	Adrian Peterson	RB	Wsh	26.6 pts (+13.4, over projected)

Bust Players

Side	T.Y. Hilton	WR	Ind	4.4 pts (-11.6, under projected)
Side	Kenny Golladay	FLEX	Det	2.2 pts (-11.3, under projected)
TACO	Drew Brees	QB	NO	6.8 pts (-11.2, under projected)
GOOD	Jameis Winston	QB	TB	8.8 pts (-10.8, under projected)
SUCH	David Njoku	TE	Cle	0.0 pts (-10.6, under projected)

Best of the Bench

Side	Deshaun Watson	Bench	Hou	31.0 pts (+12.5, over projected)
GOOD	Sammy Watkins	Bench	KC	30.7 pts (+17.8, over projected)
RISH	Marlon Mack	Bench	Ind	28.9 pts (+16.6, over projected)
HAM	Derek Carr	Bench	Oak	27.8 pts (+12.6, over projected)
HL3	Jared Goff	Bench	LAR	26.5 pts (+7.5, over projected)

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Gordon Freeman vs Green Bay Mermen

WINNER: Gordon Freeman

PROJECTED SCORE: 133.1 - 128.2

FINAL SCORE: 147.4 - 112.9

Star Players:

HL3	James Conner	RB	Pit	38.2 pts from 212 yds; 2 TD; 24 RUNS
RISH	Cam Newton	QB	Car	28.0 pts from 219 yds passing; 3 TD; 0 INT
HL3	Andrew Luck	QB	Ind	23.4 pts from 239 yds passing; 3 TD; 0 INT

Underachievers:

RISH	JuJu Smith-Schuster	WR	Pit	7.3 pts (-9.9 projected) from 33 yds; 0 TD; 4/6 REC
HL3	Tyreek Hill	WR	KC	10.0 pts (-8.5 projected) from 70 yds; 0 TD; 3/4 REC
RISH	Colts D/ST	D/ST	FA	1.0 pts (-5.9 projected) from 28 PA; 1 FR;

James Conner's most productive game yet barreled over a poor Colts defense and underproduction from Smith-Schuster, clinching the win for Coach Nick.

Coach Nick watching Conner lay 'em down.

Mixon's I am not a Crab vs Hamtown Hamboys

WINNER: Mixon's I am not a Crab

PROJECTED SCORE: 141.5 - 90.7

FINAL SCORE: 146.5 - 80.5

Star Players:

CRAB	Joe Mixon	RB	Cin	28.8 pts from 138 yds; 2 TD; 21 RUNS
CRAB	Alvin Kamara	RB	NO	26.6 pts from 76 yds; 2 TD; 13 RUNS
CRAB	Antonio Brown	FLEX	Pit	25.4 pts from 74 yds; 2 TD; 6/8 REC

Underachievers:

HAM	Jimmy Graham	TE	GB	3.1 pts (-7.8 projected) from 21 yds; 0 TD; 1/4 REC
CRAB	Michael Crabtree	WR	Bal	6.1 pts (-6.6 projected) from 31 yds; 0 TD; 3/5 REC
HAM	Duke Johnson Jr.	FLEX	Cle	3.6 pts (-6.0 projected) from 16 yds; 0 TD; 2/3 REC

In this week's most severe walloping, Team CRAB hellaciously harangued the Hamtown Hamboys with great numbers all around.

Coach TJ reacts to his team's demise.

Seattle Handegg Squad vs Sports and Such

WINNER: Seattle Handegg Squad

PROJECTED SCORE: 107.0 - 123.0

FINAL SCORE: 139.8 - 130.3

In somewhat of an upset, Coach Andre gets his second victory of the season with intense performances from Marvin Jones Jr. and Tyler Boyd. Coach Brandon had to suffer an unexpectedly target-less David Njoku which probably cost him the game.

Star Players:

EGG	Marvin Jones Jr.	WR	Det	30.7 pts from 117 yds; 2 TD; 7/10 REC
EGG	Tyler Boyd	WR	Cin	28.6 pts from 136 yds; 1 TD; 9/10 REC
SUCH	DeAndre Hopkins	WR	Hou	26.2 pts from 82 yds; 2 TD; 6/7 REC

Underachievers:

SUCH	David Njoku	TE	Cle	0.0 pts (-10.6 projected) from 0 yds; 0 TD; 0/0 REC
EGG	Chris Thompson	RB	Wsh	4.2 pts (-9.3 projected) from 22 yds; 0 TD; 3 RUNS
SUCH	Matt Prater	K	Det	2.0 pts (-7.3 projected) from 0/0 field goals; 2/2 XP

How Coach Andre feels after finally winning his second game.

Ministry of Silly Walks vs PNW Western WA East Siders

WINNER: Ministry of Silly Walks

PROJECTED SCORE: 117.0 - 118.9

FINAL SCORE: 137.5 - 103.5

What was projected to be a close game ended in somewhat of a blowout for Coach Kristin. Solid performances all around from her players with standout productivity from Stefon Diggs gave her a solid win over Coach Brandon who just could not survive a weak Ravens defense and underproduction from WRs Hilton and Golladay.

Star Players:

MoSW	Stefon Diggs	WR	Min	27.9 pts from 119 yds; 1 TD; 10/11 REC
Side	Adrian Peterson	RB	Wsh	26.6 pts from 156 yds; 2 TD; 26 RUNS
Side	Mitchell Trubisky	QB	Chi	21.9 pts from 220 yds passing; 2 TD; 0 INT

Underachievers:

Side	T.Y. Hilton	WR	Ind	4.4 pts (-11.6 projected) from 34 yds; 0 TD; 1/5 REC
Side	Kenny Golladay	FLEX	Det	2.2 pts (-11.3 projected) from 12 yds; 0 TD; 1/1 REC
Side	Ravens D/ST	D/ST	FA	-4.0 pts (-10.4 projected) from 36 PA;

Coach Kristin expressing her feelings about the projections.

The Good Commish vs Taco Tuesdays

WINNER: The Good Commish

PROJECTED SCORE: 128.3 - 131.7

FINAL SCORE: 122.4 - 121.9

In an epic struggle that ended with a mere .5 point difference, Coach Skyler takes a critical win that boosts him to second place in the standings. Anything and everything could have made the difference here; but one interesting note is that QBs Jameis Winston and Drew Brees both performed very poorly.

Star Players:

TACO	Todd Gurley II	RB	LAR	33.5 pts from 195 yds; 1 TD; 25 RUNS
GOOD	Mike Evans	WR	TB	29.9 pts from 179 yds; 1 TD; 6/13 REC
TACO	James White	RB	NE	25.4 pts from 94 yds; 1 TD; 8 RUNS

Underachievers:

TACO	Drew Brees	QB	NO	6.8 pts (-11.2 projected) from 120 yds passing; 1 TD; 1 INT
GOOD	Jameis Winston	QB	TB	8.8 pts (-10.8 projected) from 276 yds passing; 1 TD; 4 INT
TACO	Doug Baldwin	FLEX	Sea	4.6 pts (-7.7 projected) from 26 yds; 0 TD; 2/3 REC

Coach Shane checking the final scores.

----- Coming up next -----

Week 9

Gordon Freeman (6-2)	vs.	Hamtown Hamboys (0-8)
The Good Commish (6-2)	vs.	Mixon's I am not a Crab (5-3)
Taco Tuesdays (6-2)	vs.	Ministry of Silly Walks (3-5)
Green Bay Mermen (5-3)	vs.	Sports and Such (4-4)
PNW Western WA East Siders (3-5)	vs.	Seattle Handegg Squad (2-6)

Coach Andre after he finished this blog post and realized he could have made the whole shebang Halloween themed.

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2018 - Week 7

---- Current Standings ----

1	6-1	TACO	Taco Tuesdays	Coach Shane
2	5-2	RISH	Green Bay Mermen	Coach Anna	↑1
3	5-2	HL3	Gordon Freeman	Coach Nicholas	↓1
4	5-2	GOOD	The Good Commish	Coach Skyler	↑1
5	4-3	SUCH	Sports and Such	Coach Brandon	↑1
6	4-3	CRAB	Mixon's I am not a Crab	Coach Patrick	↓2
7	3-4	Side	PNW Western WA East Siders	Coach Brandon
8	2-5	MoSW	Ministry of Silly Walks	Coach Kristin
9	1-6	EGG	Seattle Handegg Squad	Coach Andre
10	0-7	HAM	Hamtown Hamboys	Coach TJ

Another week, another set of stuff that happened. That stuff resulted in Coach Patrick falling two positions down the standings and Coach Nick falling one. But not all the stuff is bad stuff! Three people moved up in the rankings so there is more good than bad depending on how you look at it! Let's look at all the good and maybe dance a bit!

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League Wide Winners and Losers

All-Star Players

MoSW	Kareem Hunt	RB	KC	37.1 pts (+20.2, over projected)
TACO	James White	FLEX	NE	29.7 pts (+14.9, over projected)
RISH	Emmanuel Sanders	WR	Den	27.3 pts (+13.4, over projected)
SUCH	Patrick Mahomes	QB	KC	32.8 pts (+11.7, over projected)
RISH	Jarvis Landry	WR	Cle	25.7 pts (+9.5, over projected)

Bust Players

RISH	LeSean McCoy	RB	Buf	0.1 pts (-14.4, under projected)
Side	Ezekiel Elliott	RB	Dal	6.2 pts (-13.4, under projected)
CRAB	Joe Mixon	RB	Cin	8.1 pts (-11.1, under projected)
EGG	Sony Michel	RB	NE	2.5 pts (-10.4, under projected)
EGG	Tyler Boyd	WR	Cin	5.7 pts (-8.6, under projected)

Best of the Bench

RISH	Marlon Mack	Bench	Ind	31.9 pts (+21.2, over projected)
Side	Mitchell Trubisky	Bench	Chi	31.4 pts (+13.1, over projected)
Side	Trey Burton	Bench	Chi	27.6 pts (+19.4, over projected)
HAM	Rams D/ST	Bench	FA	24.0 pts (+16.6, over projected)
GOOD	Sterling Shepard	Bench	NYG	21.7 pts (+9.8, over projected)

---

Green Bay Mermen vs Ministry of Silly Walks

WINNER: Green Bay Mermen

PROJECTED SCORE: 124.1 - 118.7

FINAL SCORE: 154.8 - 136.2

Star Players:

MoSW	Kareem Hunt	RB	KC	37.1 pts from 141 yds; 3 TD; 15 RUNS
RISH	Emmanuel Sanders	WR	Den	27.3 pts from 102 yds; 1 TD; 6/7 REC
RISH	Saquon Barkley	RB	NYG	26.4 pts from 94 yds; 1 TD; 14 RUNS

Underachievers:

RISH	LeSean McCoy	RB	Buf	0.1 pts (-14.4 projected) from 1 yds; 0 TD; 2 RUNS
MoSW	Kyle Rudolph	TE	Min	2.6 pts (-5.8 projected) from 16 yds; 0 TD; 1/4 REC
MoSW	Stefon Diggs	WR	Min	10.6 pts (-5.8 projected) from 26 yds; 0 TD; 8/14 REC

Green Bay was on a bye, but that didn't stop the Mermen from picking up a win!

Coach Kristin won the battle of RB1's and probably earned the league record for the largest spread on competing RB1's from the +37.0 points Kareem Hunt (37.1) outscored LeSean McCoy (0.1). With some respectable points this week, Coach Kristin just needs a little more focus if she is aims to take down the commissioner.

Sports and Such vs Mixon's I am not a Crab

WINNER: Sports and Such

PROJECTED SCORE: 117.2 - 132.8

FINAL SCORE: 136.0 - 103.6

Star Players:

SUCH	Patrick Mahomes	QB	KC	32.8 pts from 358 yds passing; 4 TD; 1 INT
SUCH	Tarik Cohen	RB	Chi	22.3 pts from 83 yds; 1 TD; 6 RUNS
CRAB	Matt Ryan	QB	Atl	19.3 pts from 379 yds passing; 1 TD; 0 INT

Underachievers:

CRAB	Joe Mixon	RB	Cin	8.1 pts (-11.1 projected) from 51 yds; 0 TD; 13 RUNS
CRAB	Corey Clement	RB	Phi	4.2 pts (-8.0 projected) from 22 yds; 0 TD; 8 RUNS
SUCH	Justin Tucker	K	Bal	5.0 pts (-4.2 projected) from 1/1 field goals; 2/3 XP

It was Patrick vs Patrick, I mean Mahomes vs Mixon, err... Patrick Mahomes vs Patrick.
Patrick did all the dancing this game.

Err, I mean Mahomes did all the dancing in a victory that brushed a missed extra point by the most accurate kicker in the history of the NFL under the rug.  **Although** if Coach Brandon benched his QB, it would of been a 103.2 to 103.6 loss... Good thing Coach Brandon is smart enough to start a QB and not put the game on Tucker!

Taco Tuesdays vs PNW Western WA East Siders

WINNER: Taco Tuesdays

PROJECTED SCORE: 123.0 - 128.1

FINAL SCORE: 136.0 - 98.9

Star Players:

TACO	Todd Gurley II	RB	LAR	30.6 pts from 86 yds; 3 TD; 15 RUNS
TACO	James White	FLEX	NE	29.7 pts from 97 yds; 2 TD; 8/10 REC
TACO	Michael Thomas	WR	NO	19.9 pts from 69 yds; 1 TD; 7/9 REC

Underachievers:

Side	Ezekiel Elliott	RB	Dal	6.2 pts (-13.4 projected) from 42 yds; 0 TD; 15 RUNS
Side	Kenny Golladay	FLEX	Det	5.7 pts (-8.5 projected) from 37 yds; 0 TD; 2/2 REC
Side	Eric Ebron	TE	Ind	6.1 pts (-7.2 projected) from 31 yds; 0 TD; 3/7 REC

Coach Shane beefs his record up to 6-1, and had all the star players in this match.

The East Siders served up a side of underachievement with all 3 underachievers in a game they were projected to win. But Greg 'The Leg' Zuerlein outscored all the kickers!!!

Gordon Freeman vs Seattle Handegg Squad

WINNER: Gordon Freeman

PROJECTED SCORE: 109.2 - 96.5

FINAL SCORE: 120.4 - 76.6

Star Players:

HL3	Odell Beckham Jr.	WR	NYG	28.2 pts from 142 yds; 1 TD; 8/11 REC
EGG	Tom Brady	QB	NE	21.7 pts from 277 yds passing; 3 TD; 1 INT
HL3	Tyreek Hill	WR	KC	20.6 pts from 76 yds; 1 TD; 7/10 REC

Underachievers:

EGG	Sony Michel	RB	NE	2.5 pts (-10.4 projected) from 35 yds; 0 TD; 4 RUNS
EGG	Tyler Boyd	WR	Cin	5.7 pts (-8.6 projected) from 27 yds; 0 TD; 3/4 REC
HL3	Golden Tate	FLEX	Det	10.6 pts (-5.1 projected) from 66 yds; 0 TD; 4/6 REC

Melvin Gordon participated in pre-game workouts, but was designated out for Sunday's London game before kickoff.  Coach Nick wasn't awake for the 6:30 am kickoff, so he missed out on some points. Sleeping is pretty great, so whatever.

Most of Coach Andre's team was an awkward mess, but Tom Brady put up some good points!!!

The Good Commish vs Hamtown Hamboys

WINNER: The Good Commish

PROJECTED SCORE: 39.7 - 22.2

FINAL SCORE: 36.0 - 17.7

Star Players:

GOOD	Adam Thielen	FLEX	Min	26.0 pts from 110 yds; 1 TD; 9/10 REC
HAM	Jordan Howard	RB	Chi	11.8 pts from 48 yds; 1 TD; 12 RUNS
GOOD	David Johnson	RB	Ari	10.0 pts from 70 yds; 0 TD; 14 RUNS

Underachievers:

GOOD	David Johnson	RB	Ari	10.0 pts (-8.3 projected) from 70 yds; 0 TD; 14 RUNS
HAM	Duke Johnson Jr.	FLEX	Cle	5.9 pts (-4.5 projected) from 19 yds; 0 TD; 4/4 REC
HAM	Jordan Howard	RB	Chi	11.8 pts (0.0 projected) from 48 yds; 1 TD; 12 RUNS

Was Coach Skyler's team half-full or half-empty? I like to think full enough to win! Coach Skyler would of put up some big numbers if he used all the slots in his roster.

With most of his players on bye, Coach T.J.'s team looked like NSYNC, just without the hoards of little girls that admire the essence of his being. Maybe next time T.J...

----- Coming up next -----

Week 8

Taco Tuesdays (6-1)	vs.	The Good Commish (5-2)
Green Bay Mermen (5-2)	vs.	Gordon Freeman (5-2)
Sports and Such (4-3)	vs.	Seattle Handegg Squad (1-6)
Mixon's I am not a Crab (4-3)	vs.	Hamtown Hamboys (0-7)
PNW Western WA East Siders (3-4)	vs.	Ministry of Silly Walks (2-5)

Halloween approaches -- let's see who can channel their pumpkin energy into a great pumpkin win!

2018 - Week 6

At this point we can't stop fall, but on the bright side, that means that football is in full swing!

Skyler has decided to take another week off for writing the blog. You rest up Skyler, your football team will need you for a strong finish.

---- Current Standings ----

1	5-1	TACO	Taco Tuesdays	Coach Shane
2	4-2	HL3	Gordon Freeman	Coach Nicholas
3	4-2	RISH	Green Bay Mermen	Coach Anna
4	4-2	CRAB	Mixon's I am not a Crab	Coach Patrick
5	4-2	GOOD	The Good Commish	Coach Skyler
6	3-3	SUCH	Sports and Such	Coach Brandon
7	3-3	Side	PNW Western WA East Siders	Coach Brandon
8	2-4	MoSW	Ministry of Silly Walks	Coach Kristin
9	1-5	EGG	Seattle Handegg Squad	Coach Andre
10	0-6	HAM	Hamtown Hamboys	Coach TJ

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League Wide Winners and Losers

All-Star Players

HL3	Tyreek Hill	WR	KC	39.2 pts (+22.7, over projected)
HAM	Davante Adams	WR	GB	35.2 pts (+18.0, over projected)
RISH	Saquon Barkley	RB	NYG	37.9 pts (+17.9, over projected)
MoSW	Kareem Hunt	RB	KC	29.5 pts (+16.0, over projected)
HL3	Melvin Gordon	RB	LAC	35.0 pts (+14.5, over projected)

Bust Players

CRAB	Cooper Kupp	FLEX	LAR	1.2 pts (-14.6, under projected)
RISH	Jarvis Landry	WR	Cle	3.1 pts (-14.6, under projected)
Side	Deshaun Watson	QB	Hou	5.3 pts (-13.6, under projected)
HL3	Carlos Hyde	FLEX	Cle	3.4 pts (-9.7, under projected)
GOOD	Sammy Watkins	FLEX	KC	3.7 pts (-9.5, under projected)

Best of the Bench

GOOD	Jameis Winston	Bench	TB	30.9 pts (+11.6, over projected)
SUCH	Marquise Goodwin	Bench	SF	29.1 pts (+20.4, over projected)
SUCH	Aaron Rodgers	Bench	GB	28.4 pts (+7.4, over projected)
CRAB	Matt Ryan	Bench	Atl	27.5 pts (+7.3, over projected)
RISH	Alshon Jeffery	Bench	Phi	27.4 pts (+15.3, over projected)

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Gordon Freeman vs Mixon's I am not a Crab

WINNER: Gordon Freeman

PROJECTED SCORE: 134.2 - 131.1

FINAL SCORE: 179.5 - 115.3

This started as a somewhat close match-up that turned out to be a blowout. Congratulations to Coach Nick for putting up a huge score and bringing home the Great Pumpkin!

And Coach Patrick just couldn't find any star players this week and couldn't get close to enough points to supplant Nick.

Star Players:

HL3	Tyreek Hill	WR	KC	39.2 pts from 142 yds; 3 TD; 7/12 REC
HL3	Melvin Gordon	RB	LAC	35.0 pts from 150 yds; 3 TD; 18 RUNS
HL3	James Conner	RB	Pit	28.9 pts from 129 yds; 2 TD; 19 RUNS

Underachievers:

CRAB	Cooper Kupp	FLEX	LAR	1.2 pts (-14.6 projected) from 12 yds; 0 TD; 0/1 REC
HL3	Carlos Hyde	FLEX	Cle	3.4 pts (-9.7 projected) from 34 yds; 0 TD; 0/0 REC
HL3	Jared Cook	TE	Oak	3.0 pts (-9.3 projected) from 10 yds; 0 TD; 2/2 REC

Green Bay Mermen vs Taco Tuesdays

WINNER: Green Bay Mermen

PROJECTED SCORE: 127.2 - 125.5

FINAL SCORE: 148.6 - 148.1

Now this was a close game all the way. Coach Anna managed to just barely de-throne Coach Shane and hand him his first loss of the season. Now there are no more undefeated teams in the league, thank you Coach Anna for dashing Coach Shane's dream of a Miami Dolphins 1972 perfect season.

Coach Shane put up a very respectable score but it just wasn't enough this week.

Star Players:

RISH	Saquon Barkley	RB	NYG	37.9 pts from 229 yds; 1 TD; 13 RUNS
TACO	Todd Gurley II	RB	LAR	36.5 pts from 225 yds; 2 TD; 28 RUNS
RISH	Emmanuel Sanders	FLEX	Den	24.5 pts from 115 yds; 1 TD; 7/10 REC

Underachievers:

RISH	Jarvis Landry	WR	Cle	3.1 pts (-14.6 projected) from 11 yds; 0 TD; 2/9 REC
TACO	Tevin Coleman	RB	Atl	11.1 pts (-4.6 projected) from 41 yds; 1 TD; 10 RUNS
RISH	Titans D/ST	D/ST	FA	1.0 pts (-4.1 projected) from 21 PA; 1 INT;

Sports and Such vs The Good Commish

WINNER: Sports and Such

PROJECTED SCORE: 116.1 - 126.6

FINAL SCORE: 142.0 - 99.0

Coach Brandon put up a huge score this week and handed Coach Skyler his second loss of the season. Congratulations Coach Brandon!

Coach Skyler's teem seemed to do overall very poorly this week. Hope next week is better Skyler!

Star Players:

GOOD	Adam Thielen	WR	Min	29.3 pts from 123 yds; 1 TD; 11/15 REC
SUCH	Patrick Mahomes	QB	KC	27.0 pts from 352 yds passing; 4 TD; 2 INT
SUCH	Tarik Cohen	RB	Chi	23.1 pts from 121 yds; 1 TD; 5 RUNS

Underachievers:

GOOD	Sammy Watkins	FLEX	KC	3.7 pts (-9.5 projected) from 17 yds; 0 TD; 2/4 REC
GOOD	Bears D/ST	D/ST	FA	-1.0 pts (-8.3 projected) from 31 PA; 2 INT; 1 FR;
GOOD	Mike Evans	WR	TB	9.8 pts (-7.3 projected) from 58 yds; 0 TD; 4/5 REC

Seattle Handegg Squad vs Ministry of Silly Walks

WINNER: Seattle Handegg Squad

PROJECTED SCORE: 105.6 - 111.5

FINAL SCORE: 122.9 - 108.2

Coach Andre managed to win his week 6 game against Coach Kristin. Coach Andrew walking to victory:

The Jags' defense let Kristin down with a 7-40 score against the Cowboys this weekend, leaving Kristin wondering where the football went. Answer: to the Cowboys end zone. Sorry Stefon Diggs (WR for Blake), better luck next week.

Star Players:

MoSW	Kareem Hunt	RB	KC	29.5 pts from 185 yds; 1 TD; 10 RUNS
EGG	Tyler Boyd	WR	Cin	25.2 pts from 62 yds; 2 TD; 7/9 REC
EGG	Sony Michel	RB	NE	22.6 pts from 106 yds; 2 TD; 24 RUNS

Underachievers:

EGG	Corey Davis	FLEX	Ten	3.4 pts (-9.3 projected) from 24 yds; 0 TD; 1/4 REC
MoSW	Jaguars D/ST	D/ST	FA	-1.0 pts (-9.0 projected) from 40 PA; 3 SCK;
MoSW	Stefon Diggs	WR	Min	7.2 pts (-8.5 projected) from 42 yds; 0 TD; 3/5 REC

PNW Western WA East Siders vs Hamtown Hamboys

WINNER: PNW Western WA East Siders

PROJECTED SCORE: 127.0 - 80.6

FINAL SCORE: 119.9 - 103.3

Despite having a glut of under-performing players and only 1 star player, Coach Brandon still managed to defeat Coach TJ. Coach Brandon fixing up his team for a respectable victory over Coach TJ:

Coach TJ, despite having 2 players score 0 points, still had a fighting chance with Russell Wilson and Devante Adams putting up impressive scores. But they couldn't quite turn around this team's performance this week:

Star Players:

HAM	Davante Adams	WR	GB	35.2 pts from 132 yds; 2 TD; 10/16 REC
Side	Julio Jones	WR	Atl	24.3 pts from 143 yds; 0 TD; 10/14 REC
HAM	Russell Wilson	QB	Sea	20.9 pts from 222 yds passing; 3 TD; 1 INT

Underachievers:

Side	Deshaun Watson	QB	Hou	5.3 pts (-13.6 projected) from 177 yds passing; 1 TD; 2 INT
Side	Brandin Cooks	WR	LAR	7.3 pts (-8.6 projected) from 53 yds; 0 TD; 2/6 REC
Side	Chris Carson	RB	Sea	5.9 pts (-7.9 projected) from 59 yds; 0 TD; 14 RUNS

----- Coming up next -----

See everyone next week for an exciting week 7 fall showdown!

Week 7

Taco Tuesdays (5-1)	vs.	PNW Western WA East Siders (3-3)
Mixon's I am not a Crab (4-2)	vs.	Sports and Such (3-3)
Gordon Freeman (4-2)	vs.	Seattle Handegg Squad (1-5)
Green Bay Mermen (4-2)	vs.	Ministry of Silly Walks (2-4)
The Good Commish (4-2)	vs.	Hamtown Hamboys (0-6)

2018 - Week 5

Changing the channel is too much effort.

Looks like Skyler is taking another week off.

That's okay though, cause this lil' corg is on the job despite having watched none of the games. 

Spot-on analysis, corgi friend.

---- Current Standings ----

1	5-0	TACO	Taco Tuesdays	Coach Shane
2	4-1	GOOD	The Good Commish	Coach Skyler
3	4-1	CRAB	Mixon's I am not a Crab	Coach Patrick
4	3-2	HL3	Gordon Freeman	Coach Nicholas
5	3-2	RISH	Green Bay Mermen	Coach Anna
6	2-3	MoSW	Ministry of Silly Walks	Coach Kristin
7	2-3	SUCH	Sports and Such	Coach Brandon
8	2-3	Side	PNW Western WA East Siders	Coach Brandon
9	0-5	EGG	Seattle Handegg Squad	Coach Andre
10	0-5	HAM	Hamtown Hamboys	Coach TJ

---

League Wide Winners and Losers

All-Star Players

Side	Eric Ebron	TE	Ind	31.5 pts (+19.8, over projected)
HL3	James Conner	RB	Pit	34.5 pts (+14.0, over projected)
HL3	Odell Beckham Jr.	WR	NYG	31.4 pts (+13.5, over projected)
HAM	Davante Adams	WR	GB	29.0 pts (+12.9, over projected)
TACO	James White	FLEX	NE	23.7 pts (+11.5, over projected)

Bust Players

CRAB	Alvin Kamara	RB	NO	6.9 pts (-16.6, under projected)
Side	Brandin Cooks	WR	LAR	0.0 pts (-15.9, under projected)
GOOD	Quincy Enunwa	WR	NYJ	0.0 pts (-13.4, under projected)
EGG	Jordan Reed	TE	Wsh	3.1 pts (-10.6, under projected)
HAM	Jay Ajayi	RB	Phi	2.4 pts (-10.3, under projected)

Best of the Bench

TACO	Isaiah Crowell	Bench	NYJ	30.1 pts (+20.5, over projected)
CRAB	Robby Anderson	Bench	NYJ	27.3 pts (+19.2, over projected)
EGG	Kenyan Drake	Bench	Mia	24.5 pts (+13.4, over projected)
GOOD	Andrew Luck	Bench	Ind	22.6 pts (+4.4, over projected)
MoSW	Philip Rivers	Bench	LAC	21.4 pts (+2.5, over projected)

---

Taco Tuesdays vs Sports and Such

WINNER: Taco Tuesdays

PROJECTED SCORE: 119.5 - 118.2

FINAL SCORE: 148.1 - 113.2

Star Players:

TACO	Todd Gurley II	RB	LAR	33.3 pts from 113 yds; 3 TD; 22 RUNS
SUCH	Aaron Rodgers	QB	GB	28.7 pts from 442 yds passing; 3 TD; 0 INT
TACO	Drew Brees	QB	NO	27.7 pts from 363 yds passing; 3 TD; 0 INT

Underachievers:

SUCH	Marshawn Lynch	RB	Oak	6.1 pts (-7.6 projected) from 41 yds; 0 TD; 9 RUNS
TACO	Michael Thomas	WR	NO	11.4 pts (-7.1 projected) from 74 yds; 0 TD; 4/5 REC
SUCH	Larry Fitzgerald	WR	Ari	5.5 pts (-5.9 projected) from 35 yds; 0 TD; 2/3 REC

Coach Shane managed to move into a sole first place spot after Coach Skyler took down Coach Patrick's perfect record. 

You go, Glen Coco.

Sports and Such is hanging in there, although it looks like some of his players might have taken the weekend off to celebrate the Thanksgiving of Coach Brandon's homeland.

Oh, Canada! 

Gordon Freeman vs Ministry of Silly Walks

WINNER: Gordon Freeman

PROJECTED SCORE: 137.4 - 110.0

FINAL SCORE: 146.4 - 114.7

Star Players:

HL3	James Conner	RB	Pit	34.5 pts from 185 yds; 2 TD; 21 RUNS
HL3	Odell Beckham Jr.	WR	NYG	31.4 pts from 131 yds; 1 TD; 8/14 REC
HL3	Melvin Gordon	RB	LAC	22.0 pts from 120 yds; 1 TD; 19 RUNS

Underachievers:

HL3	Golden Tate	FLEX	Det	9.2 pts (-7.7 projected) from 42 yds; 0 TD; 5/7 REC
HL3	Mason Crosby	K	GB	0.0 pts (-7.6 projected) from 1/5 field goals; 0/1 XP
HL3	Jared Cook	TE	Oak	6.0 pts (-6.2 projected) from 20 yds; 0 TD; 4/6 REC

Coach Nick had all the star players and all the underachievers this week.  That's the definition of doing the most.

/

Who's a talented doggo?

Kristin has no players in the auto-generated portion of this blog post on which I am basing all my commentary.  Sorry Coach Kristin, no sophisticated analysis here.  But, I found you a new team mascot! 

Corgistry of Silly Walks

The Good Commish vs Mixon's I am not a Crab

WINNER: The Good Commish

PROJECTED SCORE: 123.4 - 138.7

FINAL SCORE: 139.4 - 136.4

Star Players:

CRAB	Antonio Brown	WR	Pit	28.1 pts from 101 yds; 2 TD; 6/13 REC
GOOD	T.J. Yeldon	RB	Jax	26.2 pts from 122 yds; 1 TD; 10 RUNS
GOOD	Adam Thielen	WR	Min	24.6 pts from 116 yds; 1 TD; 7/10 REC

Underachievers:

CRAB	Alvin Kamara	RB	NO	6.9 pts (-16.6 projected) from 39 yds; 0 TD; 6 RUNS
GOOD	Quincy Enunwa	WR	NYJ	0.0 pts (-13.4 projected) from 0 yds; 0 TD; 0/5 REC
CRAB	Broncos D/ST	D/ST	FA	-2.0 pts (-8.4 projected) from 34 PA; 1 INT; 1 FR; 1 SCK;

It was a close game, but Coach Skyler managed to pull out a win and upset the previously-undefeated ... Crab Team?

It feels like we're just going around in circles here with this football stuff, huh? 

Coach Patrick still had a strong week, and will remain a contender for the rest of the season.  

Swingin' into second place like...

Green Bay Mermen vs Hamtown Hamboys

WINNER: Green Bay Mermen

PROJECTED SCORE: 130.6 - 78.5

FINAL SCORE: 133.6 - 79.1

Star Players:

HAM	Davante Adams	WR	GB	29.0 pts from 140 yds; 1 TD; 9/12 REC
RISH	Saquon Barkley	RB	NYG	28.9 pts from 129 yds; 2 TD; 15 RUNS
RISH	Zach Ertz	TE	Phi	27.0 pts from 110 yds; 1 TD; 10/11 REC

Underachievers:

HAM	Jay Ajayi	RB	Phi	2.4 pts (-10.3 projected) from 34 yds; 0 TD; 8 RUNS
RISH	Alshon Jeffery	FLEX	Phi	5.9 pts (-7.3 projected) from 39 yds; 0 TD; 2/8 REC
RISH	Jarvis Landry	WR	Cle	11.9 pts (-4.9 projected) from 69 yds; 0 TD; 5/10 REC

Wow, look how close this game was to the projected score!  The Green Bay Corgis, I mean, Mermen came out on top this time.

Who said mer-corgis don't exist?

Over 1/3 of Coach TJ's points came from one wide receiver!!  That's one guy who's good at fetch!

This is a PPR league, right?

PNW Western WA East Siders vs Seattle Handegg Squad

WINNER: PNW Western WA East Siders

PROJECTED SCORE: 127.9 - 116.7

FINAL SCORE: 109.1 - 101.6

Star Players:

Side	Eric Ebron	TE	Ind	31.5 pts from 105 yds; 2 TD; 9/15 REC
EGG	Tom Brady	QB	NE	27.5 pts from 341 yds passing; 4 TD; 2 INT
Side	Deshaun Watson	QB	Hou	21.0 pts from 375 yds passing; 1 TD; 1 INT

Underachievers:

Side	Brandin Cooks	WR	LAR	0.0 pts (-15.9 projected) from 0 yds; 0 TD; 0/0 REC
EGG	Jordan Reed	TE	Wsh	3.1 pts (-10.6 projected) from 21 yds; 0 TD; 1/2 REC
Side	Julio Jones	WR	Atl	11.2 pts (-9.3 projected) from 62 yds; 0 TD; 5/9 REC

Coach Brandon picking up the points this week from his star tight end!!

Maybe "fluffy" is more apt here than "tight"

Coach Andre is still out here looking for his first win like

So close!!

----- Coming up next -----

Week 6

Taco Tuesdays (5-0)	vs.	Green Bay Mermen (3-2)
The Good Commish (4-1)	vs.	Sports and Such (2-3)
Mixon's I am not a Crab (4-1)	vs.	Gordon Freeman (3-2)
Ministry of Silly Walks (2-3)	vs.	Seattle Handegg Squad (0-5)
PNW Western WA East Siders (2-3)	vs.	Hamtown Hamboys (0-5)

It's the battle of the Rish-Lile household!  Hopefully Shane knows the rule about letting girlfriends win!

Otherwise....

2018 - Week 4

Hm... This is strange. I don't feel like Commissioner Goodell. Oh that's right, I'm Coach Brandon (of the American variety)! I'll be filling in for Skyler because he's a lazy bum.

Yeah, you rest up this time

Since I'm handling things this time, prepare yourself for a dramatic increase of bad jokes and anime gifs.

I will not apologize

---- Current Standings ----

1	4-0	CRAB	Mixon's I am not a Crab	Coach Patrick
2	4-0	TACO	Taco Tuesdays	Coach Shane
3	3-1	GOOD	The Good Commish	Coach Skyler
4	2-2	MoSW	Ministry of Silly Walks	Coach Kristin
5	2-2	SUCH	Sports and Such	Coach Brandon
6	2-2	HL3	Gordon Freeman	Coach Nicholas
7	2-2	RISH	Green Bay Mermen	Coach Anna
8	1-3	Side	PNW Western WA East Siders	Coach Brandon
9	0-4	EGG	Seattle Handegg Squad	Coach Andre
10	0-4	HAM	Hamtown Hamboys	Coach TJ

---

League Wide Winners and Losers

All-Star Players

CRAB	Cooper Kupp	FLEX	LAR	37.2 pts (+22.0, over projected)
GOOD	Andrew Luck	QB	Ind	35.7 pts (+18.4, over projected)
TACO	James White	FLEX	NE	31.2 pts (+16.7, over projected)
GOOD	George Kittle	TE	SF	24.5 pts (+15.3, over projected)
EGG	Amari Cooper	WR	Oak	26.8 pts (+15.1, over projected)

Bust Players

RISH	Ryan Tannehill	QB	Mia	0.0 pts (-17.3, under projected)
HAM	Jordan Howard	RB	Chi	2.5 pts (-12.9, under projected)
GOOD	Sammy Watkins	FLEX	KC	0.0 pts (-12.4, under projected)
EGG	Dalvin Cook	RB	Min	2.0 pts (-11.8, under projected)
TACO	Michael Thomas	WR	NO	8.7 pts (-11.5, under projected)

Best of the Bench

HL3	Golden Tate	Bench	Det	33.2 pts (+18.1, over projected)
CRAB	Kirk Cousins	Bench	Min	31.7 pts (+15.7, over projected)
HAM	Derek Carr	Bench	Oak	31.6 pts (+18.0, over projected)
EGG	Corey Davis	Bench	Ten	31.1 pts (+17.7, over projected)
HL3	Jared Cook	Bench	Oak	31.0 pts (+21.3, over projected)

---

Mixon's I am not a Crab vs Green Bay Mermen

WINNER: Mixon's I am not a Crab

PROJECTED SCORE: 138.2 - 124.7

FINAL SCORE: 184.6 - 90.0

Star Players:

CRAB	Alvin Kamara	RB	NO	41.1 pts from 181 yds; 3 TD; 19 RUNS
CRAB	Cooper Kupp	FLEX	LAR	37.2 pts from 162 yds; 2 TD; 9/11 REC
CRAB	Matt Ryan	QB	Atl	29.3 pts from 419 yds passing; 3 TD; 0 INT

Underachievers:

RISH	Ryan Tannehill	QB	Mia	0.0 pts (-17.3 projected) from 100 yds passing; 0 TD; 1 INT
CRAB	Lamar Miller	RB	Hou	4.9 pts (-9.1 projected) from 49 yds; 0 TD; 14 RUNS
RISH	Stephen Hauschka	K	Buf	0.0 pts (-6.7 projected) from 0/0 field goals; 0/0 XP

Not content with the league high score of 180, Coach Patrick puts up an impressive 184.6 points to topple his own record!

You've earned your Fortnite dance

It looks like Coach Anna forgot to switch out two injured players before this week's games. Wait no, I misread that... Coach Anna had two players who somehow managed to score a grand total of zero points without injury (including her QB)! Poor Hauschka stepped onto the field only a single time to kickoff.

The Green Bay Mermen fans while watching this game unfold

The Good Commish vs PNW Western WA East Siders

WINNER: The Good Commish

PROJECTED SCORE: 122.8 - 112.0

FINAL SCORE: 168.4 - 164.1

Star Players:

GOOD	Andrew Luck	QB	Ind	35.7 pts from 464 yds passing; 4 TD; 0 INT
Side	Ezekiel Elliott	RB	Dal	34.0 pts from 240 yds; 1 TD; 25 RUNS
Side	Deshaun Watson	QB	Hou	31.1 pts from 375 yds passing; 3 TD; 1 INT

Underachievers:

GOOD	Sammy Watkins	FLEX	KC	0.0 pts (-12.4 projected) from 0 yds; 0 TD; 0/1 REC
GOOD	Mike Evans	WR	TB	11.9 pts (-5.3 projected) from 59 yds; 0 TD; 6/9 REC
Side	Sam Ficken	K	LAR	7.0 pts (-1.9 projected) from 1/2 field goals; 5/5 XP

Commissioner Goodell and I had an old fashioned shootout! With our QBs, Kickers, and multiple receivers in games against each other, Skyler and I were in a constant battle all weekend.

Skyler and I fighting for the lead

Unsurprisingly, the league Commissioner took the win. Probably paid off the refs or something.

Me seeing Chris Carson listed as out at the start of the Seahawks game

Ministry of Silly Walks vs Hamtown Hamboys

WINNER: Ministry of Silly Walks

PROJECTED SCORE: 111.1 - 97.4

FINAL SCORE: 142.0 - 90.4

Star Players:

MoSW	Kareem Hunt	RB	KC	26.5 pts from 175 yds; 1 TD; 19 RUNS
MoSW	Stefon Diggs	WR	Min	23.3 pts from 123 yds; 0 TD; 11/15 REC
MoSW	Philip Rivers	QB	LAC	21.7 pts from 250 yds passing; 3 TD; 1 INT

Underachievers:

HAM	Jordan Howard	RB	Chi	2.5 pts (-12.9 projected) from 25 yds; 0 TD; 11 RUNS
HAM	Russell Wilson	QB	Sea	9.0 pts (-8.9 projected) from 172 yds passing; 0 TD; 0 INT
MoSW	Kelvin Benjamin	FLEX	Buf	4.4 pts (-5.9 projected) from 34 yds; 0 TD; 1/6 REC

In her victory over the Hamboys, Coach Kristin swept the game's star players this week. Her strategy of having her players score a lot of points seems to be working.

Coach Kristin showing her moves

Green Bay can only pull the Hamboys so far with a combined total of 48.2 points, and that's with Randall Cobb's absence (hamstring). Will the Hamboys execute the necessary substitutions to finally taste victory?

The Ministry of Silly Walks capitalizing on the Hamboys' refusal to budge

Sports and Such vs Gordon Freeman

WINNER: Sports and Such

PROJECTED SCORE: 106.9 - 121.3

FINAL SCORE: 132.2 - 120.0

Star Players:

SUCH	DeAndre Hopkins	WR	Hou	32.9 pts from 169 yds; 1 TD; 10/12 REC
HL3	Melvin Gordon	RB	LAC	30.9 pts from 159 yds; 1 TD; 15 RUNS
SUCH	Patrick Mahomes	QB	KC	22.9 pts from 304 yds passing; 2 TD; 0 INT

Underachievers:

HL3	James Conner	RB	Pit	9.4 pts (-8.2 projected) from 44 yds; 0 TD; 9 RUNS
HL3	O.J. Howard	TE	TB	0.0 pts (-7.4 projected) from 0 yds; 0 TD; 0/3 REC
SUCH	Larry Fitzgerald	WR	Ari	5.8 pts (-6.3 projected) from 28 yds; 0 TD; 3/7 REC

A close game going into Monday Night Football, with Coach Nick trailing by only 3.9 points. With both teams having a stake in the final day, did team Gordon Freeman steal the lead?

Coach Nick and this Broncos fan both felt robbed tonight

Coach Brandon clearly convinced Patrick Mahomes to avoid giving Tyreek Hill the touchdowns.

Gotta get serious, can't let Coach Brandon down OR other Brandon, the Chiefs fan

Taco Tuesdays vs Seattle Handegg Squad

WINNER: Taco Tuesdays

PROJECTED SCORE: 137.7 - 112.7

FINAL SCORE: 111.6 - 99.8

Star Players:

TACO	James White	FLEX	NE	31.2 pts from 112 yds; 2 TD; 8/10 REC
EGG	Amari Cooper	WR	Oak	26.8 pts from 128 yds; 1 TD; 8/12 REC
TACO	Todd Gurley II	RB	LAR	25.6 pts from 156 yds; 1 TD; 17 RUNS

Underachievers:

EGG	Dalvin Cook	RB	Min	2.0 pts (-11.8 projected) from 20 yds; 0 TD; 10 RUNS
TACO	Michael Thomas	WR	NO	8.7 pts (-11.5 projected) from 47 yds; 0 TD; 4/4 REC
EGG	Kenyan Drake	FLEX	Mia	2.6 pts (-10.6 projected) from 16 yds; 0 TD; 1/2 REC

Hoping to dethrone Taco Tuesdays' undefeated season, Coach Andre's team was filled with respectable players. However, it's hard to win football games when three of your players have 2 point games.

Some things just don't work our like you plan for

Despite this, Coach Shane had an off day with nearly all of his players scoring in the single digits. But he showed the league what a run first offense looks like.

Coach Shane in awe of his running backs carrying his team to victory

----- Coming up next -----

Week 5

Taco Tuesdays (4-0)	vs.	Sports and Such (2-2)
Mixon's I am not a Crab (4-0)	vs.	The Good Commish (3-1)
Green Bay Mermen (2-2)	vs.	Hamtown Hamboys (0-4)
Gordon Freeman (2-2)	vs.	Ministry of Silly Walks (2-2)
PNW Western WA East Siders (1-3)	vs.	Seattle Handegg Squad (0-4)