2017 - Week 3

Happy Octoberfest! It's fall and that means football is in full swing! Let's see the week 3 results.

League All-Star Players

Todd Gurley, LAR RB (RISH): 37.9 pts (+21.0 over projected)

Larry Fitzgerald, Ari FLEX (GOOD): 33.9 pts (+18.6 over projected)

Tom Brady, NE QB (SUCH): 35.7 pts (+18.5 over projected) 

League Bust Players

Ravens D/ST, D/ST (GOOD): -6.0 pts (-13.4 under projected)

Buccaneers D/ST, D/ST (BAD): -6.0 pts (-13.3 under projected)

Amari Cooper, Oak WR (EGG): 1.6 pts (-13.1 under projected)

Best of the Bench

Stefon Diggs, Min (RISH): 37.3 pts (+24.7 over projected)

Russell Wilson, Sea (EGG): 33.5 pts (+16.5 over projected)

Brandin Cooks, NE (ZEKE): 32.1 pts (+20.5 over projected)


This was a week of strong bench players. In several matchups the bench actually outscored the starters.

This was also the week of poor defenses. Four defenses ended up in the negative... it would have been better if we had played no defense at all!

Nope. None of that.

---

Sports and Such vs Taco Tuesdays

FINAL SCORE: 143.9 - 114.5

WINNER: Sports and Such

Star Players:

Tom Brady, NE QB (SUCH): 35.7 pts from 378 yds passing; 5 TD; 0 INT

T.Y. Hilton, Ind WR (SUCH): 28.3 pts from 153 yds; 1 TD; 7/9 REC

Rob Gronkowski, NE TE (TACO): 22.9 pts from 89 yds; 1 TD; 8/10 REC

Underachievers:

Marshawn Lynch, Oak RB (SUCH): 3.6 pts (-10.7 projected) from 26 yds; 0 TD; 6 RUNS

Kyle Rudolph, Min TE (SUCH): 1.4 pts (-10.3 projected) from 4 yds; 0 TD; 1/2 REC

Blair Walsh, Sea K (TACO): 3.0 pts (-4.5 projected) from 0/0 field goals; 3/3 XP

Coach Brandon is on a roll! He has won three games in a row and his combo of Tom Brady, T.Y. Hilton and Devonta Freeman doesn't look to be slowing down at all. Watch out league!

Feeling that groove

The Taco Tuesdays didn't have a bad day, they just couldn't keep up with the output from Sports and Such. Coach Shane would probably like a little bit more effort from his RBs but even that is nit picking. Better luck next week!

Sometimes there's nothing you can do to make it better

Green Bay Mermen vs Seattle Handegg Squad

FINAL SCORE: 142.5 - 63.9

WINNER: Green Bay Mermen

Star Players:

Todd Gurley, LAR RB (RISH): 37.9 pts from 149 yds; 3 TD; 28 RUNS

Kirk Cousins, Wsh QB (RISH): 26.8 pts from 365 yds passing; 3 TD; 0 INT

Aaron Rodgers, GB QB (EGG): 24.8 pts from 313 yds passing; 3 TD; 1 INT

Underachievers:

Amari Cooper, Oak WR (EGG): 1.6 pts (-13.1 projected) from 6 yds; 0 TD; 1/5 REC

Travis Kelce, KC TE (RISH): 1.1 pts (-12.5 projected) from 1 yds; 0 TD; 1/1 REC

C.J. Anderson, Den FLEX (RISH): 6.3 pts (-9.5 projected) from 43 yds; 0 TD; 2/2 REC

Coach Anna's mermen are also on a roll! This week Todd Gurley had ample opportunities to score in their shootout against San Francisco. Although the real all-star is Stephen Hauschka making 4 field goals, including two beyond 50 yards, in the win against Denver. Whose Haus?

Awww I miss both of these guys

Coach Andre is still struggling with his RBs. Rob Kelley ended up missing the game due to injuries that may continue on to week 4 and Paul Perkins couldn't find yards on the ground. Of course it's always a bad week when you would have had more points if you didn't play a defense.

The Panther's defense gets a big thumbs down

Ministry of Silly Walks vs Zeke-a Virus

FINAL SCORE: 131.4 - 84.6

WINNER: Ministry of Silly Walks

Star Players:

A.J. Green, Cin WR (MoSW): 27.1 pts from 111 yds; 1 TD; 10/13 REC

Antonio Brown, Pit WR (ZEKE): 27.0 pts from 110 yds; 1 TD; 10/14 REC

Kareem Hunt, KC RB (MoSW): 25.3 pts from 183 yds; 1 TD; 17 RUNS

Underachievers:

Jay Ajayi, Mia RB (ZEKE): 4.5 pts (-13.0 projected) from 25 yds; 0 TD; 11 RUNS

Michael Crabtree, Oak WR (ZEKE): 1.7 pts (-12.8 projected) from 7 yds; 0 TD; 1/3 REC

Philip Rivers, LAC QB (MoSW): 3.5 pts (-12.6 projected) from 237 yds passing; 0 TD; 3 INT

Coach Kristin is still leading the league in total points scored. And it's not just Kareem Hunt. In addition A.J. Green, Jordy Nelson, Pierre Garcon and the incredible Matt Prater are all doing great so far this season.

"I didn't even know what I was doing" - Coach Kristin

Zeke-a-virus were finally helped out by Ezekiel Elliott... but that's about all coach Nick had going for him this week.

How the rest of coach Nick's players felt Sunday morning

  

  

Redmond SkiFrees vs Commissioner Goodell

FINAL SCORE: 121.4 - 94.7

WINNER: Redmond SkiFrees

Star Players:

Larry Fitzgerald, Ari FLEX (GOOD): 33.9 pts from 149 yds; 1 TD; 13/15 REC

Doug Baldwin, Sea WR (Red): 26.5 pts from 105 yds; 1 TD; 10/15 REC

Golden Tate, Det FLEX (Red): 18.8 pts from 58 yds; 1 TD; 7/11 REC

Underachievers:

Ravens D/ST, D/ST (GOOD): -6.0 pts (-13.4 projected) from 44 PA;

Terrelle Pryor Sr., Wsh WR (GOOD): 3.9 pts (-9.7 projected) from 19 yds; 0 TD; 2/4 REC

Jason Witten, Dal TE (GOOD): 1.3 pts (-8.9 projected) from 3 yds; 0 TD; 1/4 REC

Coach Brandon finally won a not-at-all close match! He was leading from the beginning and kept his commanding lead all weekend.

All it took was a really solid team with good player

 

Coach Skyler hasn't won a game yet all season. It seems like none of his players can figure out how to succeed at the same time.

How do I fix this?

Team FENELON vs The Bad At Footballs

FINAL SCORE: 90.0 - 76.2

WINNER: Team FENELON

Star Players:

Odell Beckham Jr., NYG WR (FENE): 28.9 pts from 79 yds; 2 TD; 9/13 REC

Carlos Hyde, SF RB (FENE): 24.4 pts from 94 yds; 2 TD; 25 RUNS

Le'Veon Bell, Pit RB (BAD): 21.8 pts from 98 yds; 1 TD; 15 RUNS

Underachievers:

Buccaneers D/ST, D/ST (BAD): -6.0 pts (-13.3 projected) from 34 PA;

Derek Carr, Oak QB (BAD): 5.2 pts (-11.9 projected) from 118 yds passing; 1 TD; 2 INT

Jeremy Maclin, Bal WR (BAD): 1.8 pts (-9.7 projected) from 8 yds; 0 TD; 1/5 REC

Coach Patrick took the novel strategy of playing without a QB or kicker this week ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ He still managed to pull out a victory thanks to Odell Beckham and Carlos Hyde, so I guess I can't criticize. You be you coach Patrick.

Coach Patrick's bench made 122.4 points

  

  

The real problem on the Bad at Footballs is the lack of a single star player. All of coach Derek's hand-picked players are doing okay, but besides Le'Veon Bell no one is giving the break-out games that you need to win. At least next week the Buccaneers shouldn't lose him 6 points.

Keep it up coach Derek- it just comes down to luck

 

  

----- Coming up next week -------

Week 4

Sports and Such (3-0) vs Green Bay Mermen (3-0)
Team FENELON (2-1) vs Redmond SkiFrees (2-1)

The Bad AT Footballs (0-3) vs Zeke-a Virus (1-2)

Seattle Handegg Squad (0-3) vs Commissioner Goodell (0-3)

Taco Tuesday (1-2) vs Ministry of Silly Walks (3-0)

2017 - Week 2

Bye bye week 2 of football. Hello GIFS!

The most important part of the fantasy football week - GIF time

But wait! First allow me to introduce you to a new section! Each week I will highlight the biggest booms and busts in the league. These are the players that did the best and the worst relative to their ESPN projections.

League All-Star Players

Ty Montgomery, GB RB (Ministry of Silly Walks): 29.00 pts (+16.00 over projected)

Michael Crabtree, Oak FLEX (Zeke-a-Virus): 32.00 pts (+15.30 over projected)

Kareem Hunt, KC RB (Ministry of Silly Walks): 25.90 pts (+11.70 over projected)
  

League Bust Players

Jordy Nelson, GB WR (Ministry of Silly Walks): 0.00 pts (-19.30 under projected)

Greg Olsen, Car TE (Ministry of Silly Walks): 2.00 pts (-14.10 under projected)

Larry Fitzgerald, Ari WR (Commissioner Goodell): 5.10 pts (-12.70 under projected)


This week, coach Kristin dominated the top and the bottom of the league. She won her match-up *spoilers* so I guess it all worked out.

Eh. A win's a win

Best of the Bench

C.J. Anderson, Den Bench (RISH): 30.40 pts (+17.30 over projected)

Coach Anna wins the dubious honor of having the 'Best of the Bench'. C.J. Anderson rushed his heart out for her, but in the end it didn't matter. Maybe next week he will find his way into a starting lineup.

I believe in you C.J.

---

Taco Tuesdays vs Seattle Handegg Squad

FINAL SCORE: 140.8 - 76.0

WINNER: Taco Tuesdays

Star Players:

Davante Adams, GB WR (TACO): 23.90 pts from 99 yds; 1 TD; 8/10 REC

Rob Gronkowski, NE TE (TACO): 23.60 pts from 116 yds; 1 TD; 6/9 REC

Drew Brees, NO QB (TACO): 22.20 pts from 356 yds passing; 2 TD; 0 INT
  

Underachievers:

Amari Cooper, Oak WR (EGG): 7.30 pts (-9.00 projected) from 33 yds; 0 TD; 4/5 REC

DeMarco Murray, Ten RB (TACO): 3.80 pts (-8.90 projected) from 28 yds; 0 TD; 9 RUNS

Austin Hooper, Atl TE (EGG): 2.70 pts (-7.70 projected) from 7 yds; 0 TD; 2/2 REC


Coach Shane wins with the week high score. Four of his players scored 20 points or more. However he also ended up with 3 players questionable going into the next week (DeMarco Murray, Terrance West and Gronk).

Can he keep it up?!

The hand eggers struggled in the RB and WR positions this week as only one of their five got more than 7.8 pts. Maybe he'll be able to trade one of his 3 benched QBs for some more depth.

TBF all 4 of his QBs performed pretty well though 

Sports and Such vs Zeke-a Virus

FINAL SCORE: 126.6 - 98.3

WINNER: Sports and Such

  

Star Players:

Michael Crabtree, Oak FLEX (ZEKE): 32.00 pts from 80 yds; 3 TD; 6/6 REC

Tom Brady, NE QB (SUCH): 30.80 pts from 447 yds passing; 3 TD; 0 INT

Emmanuel Sanders, Den FLEX (SUCH): 24.20 pts from 62 yds; 2 TD; 6/8 REC
  

Underachievers:

Brandin Cooks, NE WR (ZEKE): 6.30 pts (-10.90 projected) from 43 yds; 0 TD; 2/4 REC

Ezekiel Elliott, Dal RB (ZEKE): 6.20 pts (-10.70 projected) from 22 yds; 0 TD; 9 RUNS

Antonio Brown, Pit WR (ZEKE): 11.20 pts (-9.60 projected) from 62 yds; 0 TD; 5/11 REC

Coach Brandon had an incredible week from Brady and his wide receivers. He put up so many points that the -1 from the Jaguars defense didn't even matter.

It's just the truth

Zeke struggled this week, both the team and the player. Maybe his players just need to give a bit more effort next week.

I'm sure Denver's rock solid defense had nothing to do with it

Team FENELON vs Commissioner Goodell

FINAL SCORE: 122.9 - 78.8

WINNER: Team FENELON

Star Players:

Mike Evans, TB FLEX (FENE): 22.30 pts from 93 yds; 1 TD; 7/9 REC

Keenan Allen, LAC WR (FENE): 19.00 pts from 100 yds; 0 TD; 9/10 REC

Carlos Hyde, SF RB (FENE): 17.30 pts from 143 yds; 0 TD; 15 RUNS
  

Underachievers:

Larry Fitzgerald, Ari WR (GOOD): 5.10 pts (-12.70 projected) from 21 yds; 0 TD; 3/6 REC

Jimmy Graham, Sea TE (GOOD): 1.10 pts (-12.00 projected) from 1 yds; 0 TD; 1/2 REC

Jordan Howard, Chi RB (GOOD): 0.70 pts (-11.90 projected) from 7 yds; 0 TD; 9 RUNS

Coach Patrick had one of the highest scores in the league in addition to the highest-scoring bench. I guess instead of spending all his brain juice on coming up with a witty team name he picked a well-rounded team.

Coach Patrick's a smart guy

On the other hand... Commissioner Goodell did not do well. He falls to 0-2.

A repeat super bowl win isn't looking good so far

Green Bay Mermen vs Redmond SkiFrees

FINAL SCORE: 118.2 - 110.0

WINNER: Green Bay Mermen

Star Players:

Todd Gurley, LAR RB (RISH): 26.60 pts from 136 yds; 2 TD; 16 RUNS

Travis Kelce, KC TE (RISH): 24.30 pts from 103 yds; 1 TD; 8/10 REC

Melvin Gordon, LAC RB (Red): 20.80 pts from 78 yds; 1 TD; 9 RUNS
  

Underachievers:

Bilal Powell, NYJ RB (Red): 1.30 pts (-10.50 projected) from 13 yds; 0 TD; 6 RUNS

Stefon Diggs, Min FLEX (RISH): 5.10 pts (-8.80 projected) from 31 yds; 0 TD; 2/6 REC

Golden Tate, Det FLEX (Red): 6.50 pts (-8.00 projected) from 25 yds; 0 TD; 4/4 REC

Coach Anna has moved on from Dennis Pitta and the Green Bay Mermen finally have a tight end to write home about! Travis Kelce raked in 24.3 points!

mermen probably do have great tight ends

Coach Brandon was projected to win this matchup right up until the last minutes. Golden Tate underachieved at the worst possible time.

SkiFrees continue to play close games

Ministry of Silly Walks vs The Bad At Footballs

FINAL SCORE: 110.4 - 103.7

WINNER: Ministry of Silly Walks

Star Players:

Ty Montgomery, GB RB (MoSW): 29.00 pts from 110 yds; 2 TD; 10 RUNS

Kareem Hunt, KC RB (MoSW): 25.90 pts from 109 yds; 2 TD; 13 RUNS

Derek Carr, Oak QB (BAD): 21.20 pts from 230 yds passing; 3 TD; 0 INT
  

Underachievers:

Jordy Nelson, GB WR (MoSW): 0.00 pts (-19.30 projected) from 0 yds; 0 TD; 0/0 REC

Greg Olsen, Car TE (MoSW): 2.00 pts (-14.10 projected) from 10 yds; 0 TD; 1/2 REC

Pierre Garcon, SF FLEX (MoSW): 5.60 pts (-8.40 projected) from 26 yds; 0 TD; 3/5 REC

Coach Kristin's strategy of having the highest booms and busts in the same week worked out... just barely. She will have to find a replacement for Greg Olsen and maybe Jordy Nelson for next week.

Kristin is on a 2 game win streak

Coach Derek had a competitive week, breaking 100 points this time. He was projected to win for a while but he had some slight letdowns by Theo Riddick and Jared Cook.

sometimes it just comes down to luck

----- Coming up next week -------

Week 3

The Bad At Footballs (0-2) vs Team FENELON (1-1)
Redmond SkiFrees (1-1) vs Commissioner Goodell (0-2)
Sports and Such (2-0) vs Taco Tuesdays (1-1)
Green Bay Mermen (2-0) vs Seattle Handegg Squad (0-2)
Zeke-a Virus (1-1) vs Ministry of Silly Walks (2-0)

2017 - Week 1

Pssst.

Pssssst. Hey!

You know what time it is? I know what time it is. It's football time.

I will make great use of the official NFL '2017 Rookie Reaction Gif Pack' this year

This is the official start of the 2017 Blitz of Apathy fantasy football league! First, a point of order. *The league was set to 1 point per reception (PPR) and I didn't catch it until now!* So... the scoring will be a little different than last year. Each catch is worth 1 point in addition to the yards. Also, we are allowing fractional points (so a 1 yard run is worth 0.1 points). Everything else is the same!

We have familiar names and a few new teams to welcome to the competition. Let's meet the teams:

East Division

Commissioner Goodell (GOOD) coached by Skyler

Creatively-Named Team FENELON (FENE) coached by Patrick

Redmond SkiFrees (Red) coached by Brandon

Green Bay Mermen (RISH) coached by Anna

Seattle Handegg Squad (EGG) coached by Andre

West Division

Ministry of Silly Walks (MoSW) coached by Kristin

Zeke-a Virus (ZEKE) coached by Nick

Sports and Such (SUCH) coached by Brandon

The Bad At Footballs (BAD) coached by Derek

Taco Tuesdays (TACO) coached by Shane

So, how did everyone do?

Ministry of Silly Walks vs Commissioner Goodell

FINAL SCORE: 146.8 - 107.8

WINNER: Ministry of Silly Walks

Star Players:

Kareem Hunt, KC RB (MoSW): 45.6 pts from 148 yds rushing; 98 yds receiving; 1 TD

Jordy Nelson, GB WR (MoSW): 20.9 pts from 7 receptions; 1 TD

Steelers D/ST (GOOD): 19 pts from 1 TD; 1 INT; 1 Blocked Kick; 7 Sacks

Underachievers:

Jimmy Graham, Sea TE (GOOD): 3.8 pts from 3 receptions

Greg Olsen, Car TE (MoSW): 3.8 pts from 2 receptions

 Coach Kristin started the season off by setting a league-high score right out of the gate. The previous high score (set by Commissioner Goodell) was 135 pts.

Kristin is #1 - also these gifs are really awkward

Coach Skyler's team played well with the only disappointment from Jimmy Graham. Next week he probably won't sit on Leaonard Fournette considering his 21.4 point debut. 

Fournette's bicep can't quite fit a football in it, but it won't stop him from trying

Taco Tuesdays vs Zeke-a Virus

FINAL SCORE: 87.6 - 125.9

WINNER: Zeke-a Virus

Star Players:

Antonio Brown, Pit WR (ZEKE): 29.2 pts from 11 receptions; 182 yds

Tyrod Taylor, Buf QB (ZEKE): 18.8 pts from pass 224 yds; 2 TD; 1 INT

Underachievers:

Texan D/ST (ZEKE): 2 pts; Allowed the Jags to get 23.

Injuries:

David Johnson, Ari RB (TACO): Out for 8 - 12 weeks.

Zeke-a Virus got good news this week as Ezekiel Elliott's suspension was lifted and Coach Nick's late draft pick started looking like a steal.

How Nick is feeling right now

Shane got some bad news when David Johnson, the 1st overall draft pick, dislocated his wrist and may be out for the season. 

Shane and David Johnson's thought after that play

  

  

Seattle Handegg Squad vs Redmond SkiFrees 

FINAL SCORE: 113.1 - 120.0

WINNER: Redmond SkiFrees

Star Players:

Adam Thielen, Min WR (EGG): 24.7 pts from 9 receptions

Golden Tate, Det WR (Red): 21.4 pts from 10 receptions

Ausin Hooper, Atl TE (EGG): 20.8 pts from 2 receptions; 128 yds; 1 TD

Underachievers:

Russell Wilson, Sea QB (EGG): 8.3 pts

Robert Kelley, Wsh RB (EGG): 3 pts from 30 yds rushing

This was the closest match of the week, with both Andre and Brandon having an opportunity to win through the final game Monday night.

Brandon keeps getting himself into these close games

Unlike last year, Brandon managed to come out ahead this time!

Coach Andre had a few very high-scoring players, but they were let down by Seahawk QB Russell Wilson as well as both RBs.

C'mon guys

The Bad At Footballs vs Sports and Such

FINAL SCORE: 65.1 - 110.2

WINNER: Sports and Such

Star Players:

Jaguars D/ST (SUCH): 29 pts (!) from 1 TD; 1 INT; 3 fumbles; 10 sacks

DeAndre Hopkins, Hou WR (SUCH): 18.5 pts from 7 receptions; 1 TD

Derek Carr, Oak QB (BAD): 18.7 pts from 262 yds passing; 2 TD

Underachievers:

Giants D/ST (BAD): 0 pts

Tom Brady, NE QB (SUCH): 10.7 pts from 260 yds; 0 TD

Injuries:

Danny Woodhead, Bal RB (BAD): Waiting for an MRI.

Team Sports and Such had a solid all-around performance that was topped off by an unusually dominant Jaguars performance on defense. 

who? the jags? really?

Coach Derek's wide receivers did not do well at catching this week. They only caught 5 of the 10 passes sent their way. Even worse however, the Bad at Footballs were forced to sit Wendell Smallwood and release Jake Butt. Luckily they managed to play Danny Woodhead and a Derek.

Derek is definitely winning the player name award

  

Creatively-Named Team FENELON vs Green Bay Mermen

FINAL SCORE: 86.3 - 104.4

WINNER: Green Bay Mermen

Star Players:

Stefon Diggs, Min WR (FISH): 27.7 pts from 7 receptions; 2 TDs

LeSean McCoy, Buf RB (FISH): 20.9 pts from 110 yds rushing; 5 receptions

Todd Gurley, LAR RB (FISH): 20.6 from 40 yds rushing; 5 receptions; 1 TD

Underachievers:

Patriots D/ST (FENE): -4 pts

Odell Beckham Jr, NYG WR (FENE): 0 pts, did not play

Injuries:

Allen Robinson, Jax WR (FISH): Out for the season with ACL injury

The Mermen started the season off strong with great performances from Shady and Gurley, but then Allen Robinson's injury took some of the fun out of it.

Booo injuries :(

Coach Patrick was out of town and missed a few substitutions as well as setting his team name. 

Better luck next week!

----- Coming up next week -------

Week 2

Zeke-a Virus vs Sports and Such

Redmond SkiFrees vs Green Bay Mermen

Ministry of Silly Walks vs The Bad At Footballs

Taco Tuesdays vs Seattle Handegg Squad

Commissioner Goodell vs Creatively-Named Team FENELON