2017 - Week 1

Pssst.

Pssssst. Hey!

You know what time it is? I know what time it is. It's football time.

I will make great use of the official NFL '2017 Rookie Reaction Gif Pack' this year

This is the official start of the 2017 Blitz of Apathy fantasy football league! First, a point of order. *The league was set to 1 point per reception (PPR) and I didn't catch it until now!* So... the scoring will be a little different than last year. Each catch is worth 1 point in addition to the yards. Also, we are allowing fractional points (so a 1 yard run is worth 0.1 points). Everything else is the same!

We have familiar names and a few new teams to welcome to the competition. Let's meet the teams:

East Division

Commissioner Goodell (GOOD) coached by Skyler

Creatively-Named Team FENELON (FENE) coached by Patrick

Redmond SkiFrees (Red) coached by Brandon

Green Bay Mermen (RISH) coached by Anna

Seattle Handegg Squad (EGG) coached by Andre

West Division

Ministry of Silly Walks (MoSW) coached by Kristin

Zeke-a Virus (ZEKE) coached by Nick

Sports and Such (SUCH) coached by Brandon

The Bad At Footballs (BAD) coached by Derek

Taco Tuesdays (TACO) coached by Shane

So, how did everyone do?

Ministry of Silly Walks vs Commissioner Goodell

FINAL SCORE: 146.8 - 107.8

WINNER: Ministry of Silly Walks

Star Players:

Kareem Hunt, KC RB (MoSW): 45.6 pts from 148 yds rushing; 98 yds receiving; 1 TD

Jordy Nelson, GB WR (MoSW): 20.9 pts from 7 receptions; 1 TD

Steelers D/ST (GOOD): 19 pts from 1 TD; 1 INT; 1 Blocked Kick; 7 Sacks

Underachievers:

Jimmy Graham, Sea TE (GOOD): 3.8 pts from 3 receptions

Greg Olsen, Car TE (MoSW): 3.8 pts from 2 receptions

 Coach Kristin started the season off by setting a league-high score right out of the gate. The previous high score (set by Commissioner Goodell) was 135 pts.

Kristin is #1 - also these gifs are really awkward

Coach Skyler's team played well with the only disappointment from Jimmy Graham. Next week he probably won't sit on Leaonard Fournette considering his 21.4 point debut. 

Fournette's bicep can't quite fit a football in it, but it won't stop him from trying

Taco Tuesdays vs Zeke-a Virus

FINAL SCORE: 87.6 - 125.9

WINNER: Zeke-a Virus

Star Players:

Antonio Brown, Pit WR (ZEKE): 29.2 pts from 11 receptions; 182 yds

Tyrod Taylor, Buf QB (ZEKE): 18.8 pts from pass 224 yds; 2 TD; 1 INT

Underachievers:

Texan D/ST (ZEKE): 2 pts; Allowed the Jags to get 23.

Injuries:

David Johnson, Ari RB (TACO): Out for 8 - 12 weeks.

Zeke-a Virus got good news this week as Ezekiel Elliott's suspension was lifted and Coach Nick's late draft pick started looking like a steal.

How Nick is feeling right now

Shane got some bad news when David Johnson, the 1st overall draft pick, dislocated his wrist and may be out for the season. 

Shane and David Johnson's thought after that play

  

  

Seattle Handegg Squad vs Redmond SkiFrees 

FINAL SCORE: 113.1 - 120.0

WINNER: Redmond SkiFrees

Star Players:

Adam Thielen, Min WR (EGG): 24.7 pts from 9 receptions

Golden Tate, Det WR (Red): 21.4 pts from 10 receptions

Ausin Hooper, Atl TE (EGG): 20.8 pts from 2 receptions; 128 yds; 1 TD

Underachievers:

Russell Wilson, Sea QB (EGG): 8.3 pts

Robert Kelley, Wsh RB (EGG): 3 pts from 30 yds rushing

This was the closest match of the week, with both Andre and Brandon having an opportunity to win through the final game Monday night.

Brandon keeps getting himself into these close games

Unlike last year, Brandon managed to come out ahead this time!

Coach Andre had a few very high-scoring players, but they were let down by Seahawk QB Russell Wilson as well as both RBs.

C'mon guys

The Bad At Footballs vs Sports and Such

FINAL SCORE: 65.1 - 110.2

WINNER: Sports and Such

Star Players:

Jaguars D/ST (SUCH): 29 pts (!) from 1 TD; 1 INT; 3 fumbles; 10 sacks

DeAndre Hopkins, Hou WR (SUCH): 18.5 pts from 7 receptions; 1 TD

Derek Carr, Oak QB (BAD): 18.7 pts from 262 yds passing; 2 TD

Underachievers:

Giants D/ST (BAD): 0 pts

Tom Brady, NE QB (SUCH): 10.7 pts from 260 yds; 0 TD

Injuries:

Danny Woodhead, Bal RB (BAD): Waiting for an MRI.

Team Sports and Such had a solid all-around performance that was topped off by an unusually dominant Jaguars performance on defense. 

who? the jags? really?

Coach Derek's wide receivers did not do well at catching this week. They only caught 5 of the 10 passes sent their way. Even worse however, the Bad at Footballs were forced to sit Wendell Smallwood and release Jake Butt. Luckily they managed to play Danny Woodhead and a Derek.

Derek is definitely winning the player name award

  

Creatively-Named Team FENELON vs Green Bay Mermen

FINAL SCORE: 86.3 - 104.4

WINNER: Green Bay Mermen

Star Players:

Stefon Diggs, Min WR (FISH): 27.7 pts from 7 receptions; 2 TDs

LeSean McCoy, Buf RB (FISH): 20.9 pts from 110 yds rushing; 5 receptions

Todd Gurley, LAR RB (FISH): 20.6 from 40 yds rushing; 5 receptions; 1 TD

Underachievers:

Patriots D/ST (FENE): -4 pts

Odell Beckham Jr, NYG WR (FENE): 0 pts, did not play

Injuries:

Allen Robinson, Jax WR (FISH): Out for the season with ACL injury

The Mermen started the season off strong with great performances from Shady and Gurley, but then Allen Robinson's injury took some of the fun out of it.

Booo injuries :(

Coach Patrick was out of town and missed a few substitutions as well as setting his team name. 

Better luck next week!

----- Coming up next week -------

Week 2

Zeke-a Virus vs Sports and Such

Redmond SkiFrees vs Green Bay Mermen

Ministry of Silly Walks vs The Bad At Footballs

Taco Tuesdays vs Seattle Handegg Squad

Commissioner Goodell vs Creatively-Named Team FENELON