2018 - Week 1

Welcome back!

It's time for our favorite entropic random number generator, fantasy football!!! We've drafted our teams. Now it's time for superhumanly beefy men to run at each other with great force to produce points.

The season is wide open and anyone could end this season's FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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League Wide Winners and Losers

All-Star Players

HL3	Tyreek Hill	WR	KC	42.3 pts (+27.8, over projected)
HL3	James Conner	FLEX	Pit	34.2 pts (+21.3, over projected)
CRAB	Alvin Kamara	RB	NO	43.1 pts (+20.9, over projected)
TACO	Michael Thomas	WR	NO	38.0 pts (+20.1, over projected)
HAM	Randall Cobb	WR	GB	29.2 pts (+19.1, over projected)

Bust Players

TACO	Doug Baldwin	FLEX	Sea	0.0 pts (-13.2, under projected)
RISH	LeSean McCoy	RB	Buf	3.1 pts (-12.1, under projected)
CRAB	Travis Kelce	TE	KC	1.6 pts (-11.9, under projected)
GOOD	Chris Hogan	FLEX	NE	2.1 pts (-11.8, under projected)
SUCH	Marquise Goodwin	FLEX	SF	0.0 pts (-11.6, under projected)

Best of the Bench

RISH	Emmanuel Sanders	Bench	Den	29.5 pts (+17.6, over projected)
SUCH	Patrick Mahomes	Bench	KC	28.3 pts (+11.6, over projected)
Side	Kenny Stills	Bench	Mia	26.6 pts (+15.0, over projected)
EGG	Chris Thompson	Bench	Wsh	24.8 pts (+15.1, over projected)
Side	Adrian Peterson	Bench	Wsh	22.6 pts (+13.1, over projected)

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Gordon Freeman vs Hamtown Hamboys

WINNER: Gordon Freeman

PROJECTED SCORE: 117.2 - 99.9

FINAL SCORE: 180.0 - 122.6

Star Players:

HL3	Tyreek Hill	WR	KC	42.3 pts from 173 yds; 2 TD; 7/8 REC
HL3	James Conner	FLEX	Pit	34.2 pts from 192 yds; 2 TD; 5/6 REC
HAM	Randall Cobb	WR	GB	29.2 pts from 142 yds; 1 TD; 9/10 REC

Underachievers:

HAM	Jimmy Graham	TE	GB	2.8 pts (-7.1 projected) from 8 yds; 0 TD; 2/4 REC
HAM	Duke Johnson Jr.	FLEX	Cle	3.5 pts (-6.6 projected) from 25 yds; 0 TD; 1/6 REC
HAM	Chris Boswell	K	Pit	2.0 pts (-6.4 projected) from 0/1 field goals; 3/3 XP

Coach TJ makes his Blitz of Apathy debut with a respectable 122.6 points!

Unfortunately for coach TJ, he was playing against the current league high score of 180 points set by coach Nick thanks to his impressive duo of RBs combined with Tyreek Hill.

Taco Tuesdays vs Ministry of Silly Walks

WINNER: Taco Tuesdays

PROJECTED SCORE: 124.2 - 114.8

FINAL SCORE: 166.4 - 105.5

Star Players:

TACO	Michael Thomas	WR	NO	38.0 pts from 180 yds; 1 TD; 16/17 REC
TACO	Drew Brees	QB	NO	31.6 pts from 439 yds passing; 3 TD; 0 INT
MoSW	Philip Rivers	QB	LAC	29.0 pts from 424 yds passing; 3 TD; 1 INT

Underachievers:

TACO	Doug Baldwin	FLEX	Sea	0.0 pts (-13.2 projected) from 0 yds; 0 TD; 0/1 REC
MoSW	Kareem Hunt	RB	KC	4.9 pts (-10.6 projected) from 49 yds; 0 TD; 16 RUNS
MoSW	Derrick Henry	RB	Ten	4.1 pts (-7.9 projected) from 31 yds; 0 TD; 10 RUNS

Much like his snapchat streaks, coach Shane is continuing his winning streak from the end of the 2017 season! Even with angry Doug Baldwin getting 0 receptions he put up the second highest score of week 1.

Coach Kristin's start is summed up in this fact: the Jaguar's defense scored more points than both of her running backs combined. The curse of Kareem Hunt returns!!!

nap time for Kareem

Mixon's I am not a Crab vs Seattle Handegg Squad

WINNER: Mixon's I am not a Crab

PROJECTED SCORE: 123.8 - 115.2

FINAL SCORE: 143.4 - 120.2

Star Players:

CRAB	Alvin Kamara	RB	NO	43.1 pts from 141 yds; 3 TD; 8 RUNS
CRAB	Joe Mixon	RB	Cin	25.9 pts from 149 yds; 1 TD; 17 RUNS
EGG	Keenan Allen	WR	LAC	24.8 pts from 108 yds; 1 TD; 8/11 REC

Underachievers:

CRAB	Travis Kelce	TE	KC	1.6 pts (-11.9 projected) from 6 yds; 0 TD; 1/6 REC
EGG	Amari Cooper	WR	Oak	2.8 pts (-9.9 projected) from 18 yds; 0 TD; 1/3 REC
CRAB	Chargers D/ST	D/ST	FA	-3.0 pts (-8.3 projected) from 38 PA; 1 SCK;

Congratulations to coach Patrick for 1) winning his match and 2) coming up with a pun based team name!

Coach Andre had a good start to the season and would have won against many other matchups, but what he was missing this week was a player getting 40+ points. Yeah. That'd help.

PNW Western WA East Siders vs Sports and Such

WINNER: PNW Western WA East Siders

PROJECTED SCORE: 121.2 - 120.4

FINAL SCORE: 130.0 - 96.0

Star Players:

Side	Julio Jones	WR	Atl	28.0 pts from 180 yds; 0 TD; 10/19 REC
SUCH	Aaron Rodgers	QB	GB	24.9 pts from 286 yds passing; 3 TD; 0 INT
Side	Ezekiel Elliott	RB	Dal	17.6 pts from 86 yds; 1 TD; 15 RUNS

Underachievers:

SUCH	Marquise Goodwin	FLEX	SF	0.0 pts (-11.6 projected) from 0 yds; 0 TD; 0/1 REC
Side	Trey Burton	TE	Chi	2.5 pts (-6.8 projected) from 15 yds; 0 TD; 1/6 REC
SUCH	Matt Prater	K	Det	3.0 pts (-6.2 projected) from 1/3 field goals; 2/2 XP

The East Siders won the first Battle of the Brandons in the 2018 season. Although coach Brandon's team struggled this week, he has some potential talent waiting on his bench.

Team Sports and Such had a number of okay performances but was missing a star player this week. As the dice roll next week it's likely that someone new will step up for coach Brandon!

The Good Commish vs Green Bay Mermen

WINNER: The Good Commish

PROJECTED SCORE: 124.9 - 117.0

FINAL SCORE: 114.0 - 109.5

Star Players:

GOOD	Mike Evans	WR	TB	27.7 pts from 147 yds; 1 TD; 7/7 REC
RISH	Saquon Barkley	RB	NYG	20.8 pts from 128 yds; 1 TD; 18 RUNS
GOOD	Andrew Luck	QB	Ind	19.5 pts from 319 yds passing; 2 TD; 1 INT

Underachievers:

RISH	LeSean McCoy	RB	Buf	3.1 pts (-12.1 projected) from 21 yds; 0 TD; 7 RUNS
GOOD	Chris Hogan	FLEX	NE	2.1 pts (-11.8 projected) from 11 yds; 0 TD; 1/5 REC
GOOD	Leonard Fournette	RB	Jax	8.5 pts (-8.7 projected) from 55 yds; 0 TD; 9 RUNS

The Good Commissioner (not to be confused with the evil one) was neck-and-neck against the Mermen but managed to keep the lead thanks to Mike Evans!

Coach Anna was betrayed this week by Hauschka and Shady! Luckily rookie Saquon Barkley was there to pick up some of the slack.

Seriously though, what's up with that hat?

----- Coming up next -----

Week 2

Gordon Freeman (1-0)	vs.	The Good Commish (1-0)
PNW Western WA East Siders (1-0)	vs.	Mixon's I am not a Crab (1-0)
Taco Tuesdays (1-0)	vs.	Hamtown Hamboys (0-1)
Sports and Such (0-1)	vs.	Ministry of Silly Walks (0-1)
Green Bay Mermen (0-1)	vs.	Seattle Handegg Squad (0-1)