2018 - Week 9

 The last several weeks of posts have been excellent! From anime, to corgi butts, dancing and autumnal themes, along the way we've had some great gifs. Thank you to all the special guests on the blog!


It's your own Commissioner Goodell back at it this week to take a look at our standings and gifitize the results.

---- Current Standings ----

1	7-2	TACO	Taco Tuesdays	Coach Shane
2	7-2	HL3	Gordon Freeman	Coach Nicholas
3	6-3	CRAB	Mixon's I am not a Crab	Coach Patrick
4	6-3	GOOD	The Good Commish	Coach Skyler
5	5-4	SUCH	Sports and Such	Coach Brandon
6	5-4	RISH	Green Bay Mermen	Coach Anna
7	4-5	Side	PNW Western WA East Siders	Coach Brandon
8	3-6	MoSW	Ministry of Silly Walks	Coach Kristin
9	2-7	EGG	Seattle Handegg Squad	Coach Andre
10	0-9	HAM	Hamtown Hamboys	Coach TJ

---

League Wide Winners and Losers

All-Star Players

TACO	Michael Thomas	WR	NO	39.1 pts (+21.3, over projected)
HAM	Duke Johnson Jr.	FLEX	Cle	29.6 pts (+20.4, over projected)
GOOD	Bears D/ST	D/ST	FA	29.0 pts (+20.3, over projected)
TACO	Tevin Coleman	FLEX	Atl	32.6 pts (+20.0, over projected)
SUCH	Vikings D/ST	D/ST	FA	23.0 pts (+17.8, over projected)

Bust Players

CRAB	Kirk Cousins	QB	Min	6.9 pts (-14.7, under projected)
GOOD	Mike Evans	WR	TB	2.6 pts (-14.1, under projected)
SUCH	Tarik Cohen	RB	Chi	2.3 pts (-13.9, under projected)
Side	Adrian Peterson	RB	Wsh	6.3 pts (-11.2, under projected)
GOOD	Adam Thielen	WR	Min	12.7 pts (-10.6, under projected)

Best of the Bench

CRAB	Matt Ryan	Bench	Atl	28.0 pts (+9.7, over projected)
HL3	Ben Roethlisberger	Bench	Pit	25.2 pts (+8.1, over projected)
CRAB	Dion Lewis	Bench	Ten	22.2 pts (+10.4, over projected)
Side	Deshaun Watson	Bench	Hou	20.3 pts (+1.8, over projected)
Side	Calvin Ridley	Bench	Atl	19.7 pts (+9.6, over projected)

---

Taco Tuesdays vs Ministry of Silly Walks

WINNER: Taco Tuesdays

PROJECTED SCORE: 118.1 - 104.8

FINAL SCORE: 172.4 - 89.6

Star Players:

TACO	Michael Thomas	WR	NO	39.1 pts from 211 yds; 1 TD; 12/15 REC
MoSW	Kareem Hunt	RB	KC	33.1 pts from 141 yds; 3 TD; 17 RUNS
TACO	Tevin Coleman	FLEX	Atl	32.6 pts from 156 yds; 2 TD; 5/7 REC

Underachievers:

MoSW	Saints D/ST	D/ST	FA	-6.0 pts (-9.1 projected) from 35 PA; 1 INT;
MoSW	Kerryon Johnson	RB	Det	7.4 pts (-5.4 projected) from 44 yds; 0 TD; 12 RUNS
MoSW	Devin Funchess	FLEX	Car	8.4 pts (-5.2 projected) from 44 yds; 0 TD; 4/5 REC

Coach Shane got really close to the league high score (180) this week, and thanks to Michael Thomas and Tevin Coleman he certainly racked up the highest score we've seen in a few weeks.

Coach Shane right now

Fun fact: Coach Kristin would have scored higher last week if she had played the Saints D/ST instead of the Jags D/ST and this week she would have scored higher if she would have played the Jags D/ST instead of the Saints D/ST.

The Saints were on bye last week and the Jags were on bye this week. Bad luck coach Kristin.

The Football Gods ruling against Coach Kristin

Sports and Such vs Green Bay Mermen

WINNER: Sports and Such

PROJECTED SCORE: 120.9 - 111.6

FINAL SCORE: 138.9 - 89.4

Star Players:

SUCH	Christian McCaffrey	RB	Car	32.7 pts from 157 yds; 2 TD; 17 RUNS
SUCH	Patrick Mahomes	QB	KC	26.8 pts from 375 yds passing; 3 TD; 1 INT
SUCH	DeAndre Hopkins	WR	Hou	26.5 pts from 105 yds; 1 TD; 10/12 REC

Underachievers:

SUCH	Tarik Cohen	RB	Chi	2.3 pts (-13.9 projected) from 13 yds; 0 TD; 6 RUNS
SUCH	Marquise Goodwin	FLEX	SF	2.3 pts (-7.3 projected) from 13 yds; 0 TD; 1/4 REC
RISH	LeSean McCoy	RB	Buf	6.9 pts (-5.6 projected) from 29 yds; 0 TD; 10 RUNS

Coach Brandon had all the star players. He ran away with this matchup thanks to well overachieving his projection.

Coach Brandon's defense was the 4th star player

Coach Anna's players didn't have enough oomf to make it onto the star players board and didn't have enough whomp whomp to make it on the underachievers (except Shady). The Green Bay Mermen got overshadowed this week.

Shade

Gordon Freeman vs Hamtown Hamboys

WINNER: Gordon Freeman

PROJECTED SCORE: 132.9 - 90.5

FINAL SCORE: 137.8 - 107.7

Star Players:

HAM	Duke Johnson Jr.	FLEX	Cle	29.6 pts from 86 yds; 2 TD; 9/9 REC
HL3	James Conner	RB	Pit	29.3 pts from 163 yds; 1 TD; 24 RUNS
HL3	Jared Goff	QB	LAR	29.3 pts from 391 yds passing; 3 TD; 1 INT

Underachievers:

HL3	Jared Cook	TE	Oak	4.0 pts (-7.5 projected) from 20 yds; 0 TD; 2/2 REC
HL3	Tyreek Hill	WR	KC	12.5 pts (-6.7 projected) from 85 yds; 0 TD; 4/5 REC
HAM	Packers D/ST	D/ST	FA	-2.0 pts (-5.2 projected) from 31 PA; 2 SCK;

Coach Nick knows how to sub out injured players.

Coach TJ doesn't care.

Mixon's I am not a Crab vs The Good Commish

WINNER: Mixon's I am not a Crab

PROJECTED SCORE: 136.8 - 126.4

FINAL SCORE: 130.4 - 113.5

Star Players:

CRAB	Alvin Kamara	RB	NO	33.6 pts from 116 yds; 3 TD; 19 RUNS
GOOD	Bears D/ST	D/ST	FA	29.0 pts from 9 PA; 2 TD; 3 INT; 1 FR; 4 SCK;
CRAB	Travis Kelce	TE	KC	28.9 pts from 99 yds; 2 TD; 7/9 REC

Underachievers:

CRAB	Kirk Cousins	QB	Min	6.9 pts (-14.7 projected) from 164 yds passing; 1 TD; 1 INT
GOOD	Mike Evans	WR	TB	2.6 pts (-14.1 projected) from 16 yds; 0 TD; 1/10 REC
GOOD	Adam Thielen	WR	Min	12.7 pts (-10.6 projected) from 27 yds; 1 TD; 4/7 REC

Even with Mixon out this week, Coach Patrick's not crabs put up a high score thanks to Kamara and Kelce. The not crabs were losing most of the weekend, but by the end of the day Sunday it was clear that they were the better team.

Despite appearances, not a crab

Coach Skyler started off great with high scores from his TE and D/ST. But then everyone else came up short.

At least my defense was a super star

PNW Western WA East Siders vs Seattle Handegg Squad

WINNER: PNW Western WA East Siders

PROJECTED SCORE: 125.4 - 98.2

FINAL SCORE: 110.5 - 80.6

Star Players:

Side	Julio Jones	WR	Atl	25.1 pts from 121 yds; 1 TD; 7/10 REC
Side	Brandin Cooks	WR	LAR	23.4 pts from 114 yds; 1 TD; 6/8 REC
EGG	Keenan Allen	WR	LAC	21.2 pts from 152 yds; 0 TD; 6/10 REC

Underachievers:

Side	Adrian Peterson	RB	Wsh	6.3 pts (-11.2 projected) from 33 yds; 0 TD; 9 RUNS
Side	Mitchell Trubisky	QB	Chi	8.0 pts (-10.0 projected) from 135 yds passing; 1 TD; 1 INT
EGG	Kenyan Drake	RB	Mia	7.5 pts (-7.1 projected) from 35 yds; 0 TD; 3 RUNS

Julio finally got a touchdown. That's almost certainly why Coach Brandon won this week.

The joy of victory

One of Coach Andre's injured players didn't play and a few others didn't play much. Even Tom Brady only managed to barely avoid an embarrassing week. Better luck next week.

I thought Tom Brady was supposed to be good

----- Coming up next -----

Week 10

Gordon Freeman (7-2)	vs.	PNW Western WA East Siders (4-5)
Taco Tuesdays (7-2)	vs.	Hamtown Hamboys (0-9)
The Good Commish (6-3)	vs.	Green Bay Mermen (5-4)
Mixon's I am not a Crab (6-3)	vs.	Seattle Handegg Squad (2-7)
Sports and Such (5-4)	vs.	Ministry of Silly Walks (3-6)