2018 - Week 13

Skyler asked me to do the blog again! He also said I should've used entirely anime gifs last time. What follows is his fault!

I've got this itch that only anime gifs can satisfy!

---- Current Standings ----

1	10-3	CRAB	Mixon's I am not a Crab	Coach Patrick
2	10-3	HL3	Gordon Freeman	Coach Nicholas
3	9-4	SUCH	Sports and Such	Coach Brandon
4	8-5	RISH	Green Bay Mermen	Coach Anna
5	8-5	TACO	Taco Tuesdays	Coach Shane
6	6-7	GOOD	The Good Commish	Coach Skyler
7	5-8	Side	PNW Western WA East Siders	Coach Brandon
8	5-8	MoSW	Ministry of Silly Walks	Coach Kristin
9	4-9	EGG	Seattle Handegg Squad	Coach Andre
10	0-13	HAM	Hamtown Hamboys	Coach TJ

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League Wide Winners and Losers

All-Star Players

SUCH	Tarik Cohen	RB	Chi	34.6 pts (+22.1, over projected)
CRAB	Travis Kelce	TE	KC	38.8 pts (+20.0, over projected)
EGG	Keenan Allen	WR	LAC	36.8 pts (+18.3, over projected)
CRAB	Antonio Brown	WR	Pit	31.4 pts (+12.8, over projected)
CRAB	Ka'imi Fairbairn	K	Hou	21.0 pts (+11.9, over projected)

Bust Players

Side	Julio Jones	WR	Atl	3.8 pts (-15.6, under projected)
HL3	Tyreek Hill	WR	KC	6.0 pts (-14.7, under projected)
MoSW	A.J. Green	WR	Cin	1.7 pts (-13.5, under projected)
HL3	Jared Goff	QB	LAR	8.1 pts (-13.1, under projected)
TACO	Tevin Coleman	RB	Atl	2.1 pts (-11.3, under projected)

Best of the Bench

CRAB	Phillip Lindsay	Bench	Den	28.9 pts (+13.7, over projected)
HAM	Derek Carr	Bench	Oak	24.2 pts (+8.3, over projected)
HL3	Golden Tate	Bench	Phi	23.5 pts (+12.0, over projected)
Side	Carson Wentz	Bench	Phi	19.8 pts (+3.2, over projected)
EGG	Jason Myers	Bench	NYJ	19.0 pts (+11.9, over projected)

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Sports and Such vs Taco Tuesdays

WINNER: Sports and Such

PROJECTED SCORE: 126.9 - 129.7

FINAL SCORE: 168.5 - 87.5

Star Players:

SUCH	Tarik Cohen	RB	Chi	34.6 pts from 186 yds; 0 TD; 8 RUNS
SUCH	Patrick Mahomes	QB	KC	33.0 pts from 295 yds passing; 4 TD; 0 INT
TACO	Todd Gurley II	RB	LAR	31.5 pts from 165 yds; 2 TD; 23 RUNS

Underachievers:

TACO	Drew Brees	QB	NO	7.3 pts (-11.3 projected) from 127 yds passing; 1 TD; 1 INT
TACO	Tevin Coleman	RB	Atl	2.1 pts (-11.3 projected) from 11 yds; 0 TD; 6 RUNS
TACO	Redskins D/ST	D/ST	FA	-2.0 pts (-10.1 projected) from 28 PA; 1 INT;

What a game this would have been if the projections were accurate.

Pulling out the big guns for this match

I have no idea how tie breakers work, but Coach Shane brought the Taco Tuesdays to the playoffs despite having the same record as Coach Anna.

Made it by this much

Mixon's I am not a Crab vs Green Bay Mermen

WINNER: Mixon's I am not a Crab

PROJECTED SCORE: 137.8 - 137.1

FINAL SCORE: 167.8 - 95.0

Star Players:

CRAB	Travis Kelce	TE	KC	38.8 pts from 168 yds; 2 TD; 12/13 REC
CRAB	Antonio Brown	WR	Pit	31.4 pts from 154 yds; 1 TD; 10/13 REC
CRAB	Ka'imi Fairbairn	K	Hou	21.0 pts from 5/5 field goals; 2/2 XP

Underachievers:

CRAB	Matt Ryan	QB	Atl	7.6 pts (-10.6 projected) from 131 yds passing; 1 TD; 0 INT
RISH	Emmanuel Sanders	WR	Den	5.9 pts (-10.2 projected) from 19 yds; 0 TD; 4/6 REC
RISH	Cam Newton	QB	Car	15.3 pts (-9.3 projected) from 300 yds passing; 2 TD; 4 INT

This would have been an exciting game had it been closer to the projection. Coach Patrick decided to take a projected differential of under a point, to a a blowout victory!

The best defense is surrounding yourself with powerful weapons

Unfortunately, a loss kept Coach Anna behind Taco Tuesdays, dooming her playoff hopes!

I guess UCF isn't the only one wishing the playoffs had more space

Seattle Handegg Squad vs Hamtown Hamboys

WINNER: Seattle Handegg Squad

PROJECTED SCORE: 115.1 - 93.9

FINAL SCORE: 139.0 - 87.8

Star Players:

EGG	Keenan Allen	WR	LAC	36.8 pts from 148 yds; 1 TD; 14/19 REC
HAM	Russell Wilson	QB	Sea	24.8 pts from 185 yds passing; 4 TD; 0 INT
HAM	Davante Adams	WR	GB	23.3 pts from 93 yds; 1 TD; 8/13 REC

Underachievers:

EGG	Adam Vinatieri	K	Ind	0.0 pts (-8.3 projected) from 0/0 field goals; 0/0 XP
HAM	Duke Johnson Jr.	FLEX	Cle	3.2 pts (-7.5 projected) from 12 yds; 0 TD; 2/3 REC
HAM	Packers D/ST	D/ST	FA	2.0 pts (-7.0 projected) from 20 PA; 2 SCK;

Coach Andre rejected the projected score and substituted his own to pull off this dominating win. Study this game closely, because these two will face each other again over the next couple weeks!

Coach Andre pulling out the big guns

Let's see what Coach TJ's doing to prepare for their next battle!

Coach TJ doesn't check this blog

Gordon Freeman vs Ministry of Silly Walks

WINNER: Gordon Freeman

PROJECTED SCORE: 140.7 - 108.3

FINAL SCORE: 121.1 - 97.0

Star Players:

MoSW	Philip Rivers	QB	LAC	24.0 pts from 299 yds passing; 2 TD; 0 INT
HL3	Jared Cook	TE	Oak	23.0 pts from 100 yds; 1 TD; 7/8 REC
HL3	James Conner	RB	Pit	22.4 pts from 74 yds; 2 TD; 15 RUNS

Underachievers:

HL3	Tyreek Hill	WR	KC	6.0 pts (-14.7 projected) from 50 yds; 0 TD; 1/6 REC
MoSW	A.J. Green	WR	Cin	1.7 pts (-13.5 projected) from 7 yds; 0 TD; 1/1 REC
HL3	Jared Goff	QB	LAR	8.1 pts (-13.1 projected) from 207 yds passing; 1 TD; 1 INT

Coach Nick decided to take a risk with two underachievers in  this game. Fortunately, the JCs of his team pull through.

Can nothing stop Coach Nick?

Coach Nick moves onto the playoffs as the first seed!

How does Nick feel about this?

PNW Western WA East Siders vs The Good Commish

WINNER: PNW Western WA East Siders

PROJECTED SCORE: 142.2 - 138.1

FINAL SCORE: 113.1 - 109.8

Star Players:

Side	Ezekiel Elliott	RB	Dal	25.6 pts from 136 yds; 1 TD; 23 RUNS
GOOD	Jameis Winston	QB	TB	22.8 pts from 249 yds passing; 2 TD; 0 INT
Side	Deshaun Watson	QB	Hou	16.0 pts from 224 yds passing; 1 TD; 0 INT

Underachievers:

Side	Julio Jones	WR	Atl	3.8 pts (-15.6 projected) from 18 yds; 0 TD; 2/8 REC
GOOD	David Johnson	RB	Ari	8.2 pts (-9.5 projected) from 72 yds; 0 TD; 20 RUNS
GOOD	Adam Thielen	WR	Min	13.8 pts (-8.9 projected) from 28 yds; 1 TD; 5/10 REC

Like the last time I handled the blog, I faced off with Commissioner Goodell. This time, however, I came out victorious!

My face when I learned what victory tastes like

Interestingly, while the projection gave us a bit too much credit, the score differential was less than a point off!

This game has no effect on the playoffs, Commissioner Goodell doesn't care

----- Coming up next -----

And thus concludes the regular season! Remember that the playoff games take part over two weeks!

Give it all your might!

Week 14

Gordon Freeman (10-3)	vs.	Taco Tuesdays (8-5)
Mixon's I am not a Crab (10-3)	vs.	Sports and Such (9-4)
Green Bay Mermen (8-5)	vs.	The Good Commish (6-7)
Ministry of Silly Walks (5-8)	vs.	PNW Western WA East Siders (5-8)
Seattle Handegg Squad (4-9)	vs.	Hamtown Hamboys (0-13)